Chapter 6: You’ll Never Forget the Jokes
Secrecy has its own reason to be there. Remember that, and always remember that you will behave very foolishly in life if you become completely public. It will be as if somebody has turned his pockets inside-out. That will be your shape - pockets turned inside-out. Nothing is wrong in being outside, but remember, that is only part of life. It should not become the whole.
I am not saying to move in darkness forever. Light has its own beauty and its own reason. If the seed remains in the dark for ever and ever, and never comes up to receive the sun in the morning, it will be dead. It has to go into darkness to sprout, to gather strength, to become vital, to be reborn, and then it has to come out and face the world and the light and the storm and the rains. It has to accept the challenge of the outside. But that challenge can only be accepted if you are deeply rooted within.
I am not saying to become escapists, I am not saying to close your eyes, move within and never come out. I am simply saying, go in so that you can come out with energy, with love, with compassion. Go in so that when you come out you are not a beggar, but a king. Go in so that when you come out you have something to share - the flowers, the leaves. Go in so that your coming out becomes richer and is not impoverished. And always remember that whenever you feel exhausted, the source of energy is within. Close your eyes and go in.
Make outer relationships; make inner relationships also. Of course there are bound to be outer relationships - you move in the world, there will be business relationships - but they should not be all. They have their part to play, but there must be something absolutely secret and private, something that you can call your own. That is what Marilyn Monroe lacked. She was a public woman - successful, yet failed completely. While she was at the top of her success and fame, she committed suicide. Why she committed suicide has remained an enigma. She had everything to live for; you cannot conceive of more fame, more success, more charisma, more beauty, more health. Everything was there, nothing could be improved upon, and still something was lacking. The inside, the within, was empty. Then, suicide is the only way.
You may not be daring enough to commit suicide like Marilyn Monroe. You may be very cowardly and you may commit suicide very slowly - you may take seventy years to commit it. But still it will be a suicide. Unless you have something inside you which is not dependent on anything outside, which is just your own - a world, a space of your own where you can close your eyes and move, and you can forget that anything else exists - you will be committing suicide.
Life arises from that inner source and spreads into the sky outside. There has to be a balance - I am always for balance. So I will not say, like Mahatma Gandhi, that your life should be an open book - no. A few chapters open, okay. And a few chapters completely closed, completely a mystery. If you are just an open book you will be a prostitute, you will just be standing in the marketplace naked, with just the radio on. No, that won’t do.