Chapter 24: Whenever the Ego Gains, You Are the Loser
So if it happens when I am speaking that something hits a deep cord in you, you feel it is something new that you have heard. But suddenly, in an even deeper and darker part of your being, something else is remembered. Suddenly you are in a puzzle: have you heard it new, or had you just forgotten and hearing this you have remembered?
Both are true - there is no need for any puzzle. It is new as far as you are concerned; it is as ancient as existence as far as your being is concerned. For your ego it is new, but for your being it is just a forgotten message.
Sometimes you feel you know something, you remember something. You are absolutely certain. In all the languages this kind of phrase is available, “It is almost on the tip of my tongue.” It is, but still you cannot say it. And it feels very, very strange, a little awkward inside, with both the things together: you know, you are perfectly certain that it is on the tip of the tongue, but you cannot verbalize it, you cannot simply say it. The more you try, the more you become tense.tense because it is so close.
And it is close, but something is hindering the path, something is coming in between - a very thin layer of something, some other word. But because you are becoming tense, it is not possible to remember it.
Then different people have different methods. You start smoking a cigarette - you forget all about it. Just smoking a cigarette you relax, and suddenly it is there. Or you go into the garden and start watering the plants - you forget all about it. You are no longer tense, you are no longer worried even about remembering it, and that is the moment you remember it. It seems relaxation plays a great part in letting it come to the surface.
Perhaps when I say something it relaxes you deep down, and that helps. Just sitting with me, listening to me, is not a tense affair. It is not the lecture of a professor, where you are taking notes.
In India I had continuously to tell people, “Please stop taking notes because you are destroying the whole atmosphere. I am not a professor and this is not a class, and when I am speaking and you are taking notes, you can’t hear me. You are concentrated on taking notes; you will miss many significant things.”
Listening to me, sitting relaxed, suddenly a deep relaxation happens inside, and something that you have forgotten..
Now I would like again to remind you of the meaning of the word sin. The religions have destroyed the beauty of the word - so much so that it has become almost impossible to use it because all the connotations that they have given to it are in everybody’s mind.
But in reality the word sin simply means forgotten. In that sense I accept it. Our only sin is that we have forgotten ourselves, and our only enlightenment will be that we remember it again.