Chapter 6: Now Is Not Part of Time
“Yes, it is wonderful. Breakfast before I go to work is large and delicious. When I go off after that the little woman gives me a big hug and kiss at the door. I return home at night, supper is on the table. After that I sit in the living room reading the paper while the missus cleans away the dishes. Then she changes into something more comfortable and sits down beside me, and talks to me. And she talks, and talks, and talks, until I wish she would drop dead.”
Don’t give such an opportunity to anybody that he starts thinking, “When are you going to drop dead?” It is your problem. Or, you can make a good arrangement if somebody has the same problem. This is Amida’s problem. In this ashram there are so many mad people; you can find somebody else who has the same problem. Then you can make a good arrangement: one hour you talk, one hour you listen to him - no need to be connected with each other, no need to be relevant, and no need to follow any rules of conversation. It is not a conversation. One hour you blurt whatsoever comes to your mind, and of course, then you have to pay - one hour you have to listen. And it will be valuable for both.
But one thing should be remembered: don’t repress it. Anything repressed becomes poisonous. And talking is just innocent; the wall will do. Go to the trees and they will feel very happy; nobody talks to them. They are always waiting. They will feel grateful. Or go to the river or to the rocks, but don’t repress. By and by, things will clear up and talking will disappear. It is just the beginning. Then deeper layers of being will be touched.
Talk is the most superficial layer of your life, just a very superficial layer. When energy is flowing deep, that layer starts trembling, ripples arise. Allow them. Soon, when the talk is exhausted and you have thrown out all the rubbish that you have been carrying for your whole life, silence will come. And that silence will be completely uncorrupted, virgin. You can force your talking, you can repress it and you can look silent, but your silence will not be real silence. Deep down the tremor will continue; deep down the volcano is getting ready to erupt any moment. You are sitting on top of it. People look silent but they are not silent. I would like you to become really silent, and the way is a deep catharsis.
I know Amida is feeling great energy. Her energy sources are tapped, and she is getting connected with her very ground of being. So in all ways she will feel too powerful. Talk also is one of the most basic ingredients of a human being. A human being is a human being because he can talk. No other animal has that capacity. And then Amida is a woman, not even a man.
I have heard..
A woman was saying to her husband that the new priest was a great talker. And she said, “I have never known a man to talk so fast. It is almost impossible to understand what he is saying. His words overlap.”
The husband said, “I know the reason for it. His father was a politician and his mother was a woman.”