Chapter 7: Flowers of Feelings at His Feet
You must have heard the parable in Jesus’ life that when Mary Magdalene came to see him, she was possessed by seven demons. He touched her and all the seven demons rushed, ran towards the sea and drowned themselves there. Now this parable is very significant. The word demon comes from a root which means division. If you translate this parable into psychological terms, it simply means Mary Magdalene was divided into seven parts. Jesus touched her, she became total, unpossessed; the demons disappeared. Demons mean divisions.
The Baul lives an undivided life, he never divides. He is not against anything, he is not for anything - he simply lives. Whatsoever comes in the moment, he lives it. He is surrendered to reality; that is his prayer. Death comes: he yields beautifully, gracefully. He dies. He cooperates with death. There is not a little bit of resistance, not even a little bit. He is not fighting - he embraces death.
Dying with death,
you must live to seek.
And then he goes on and on. His search is unending. God can never be totally known because he is infinite. We can go on knowing him more and more and more. We go on coming closer and closer and closer, but God is not a goal. Nobody can say, “I have arrived.” If somebody says it, then something is wrong.
The Upanishads say the one who says “I have known God” has not known - because how can you know the eternal? Yes, you can live him, you can love him, you can be in him, but you cannot know him - because knowledge will become a definition, knowledge will make him finite. That which is known totally becomes finite, but God remains unknowable. The more you know, the more doors open, the more mysteries open. Then each death is a closing of the past and a new vision of the future.
“Dying with death, you must live to seek.” And one goes on seeking. The pilgrimage is eternal.
The Bauls sing:
Shut the doors on the face of lust,
attain the greatest, the unattainable man,
and act as the lovers act:
meet the death before you die.
To die with death is possible only if you have met death before you die. Otherwise it will be difficult. You need some acquaintance. If death comes and you are not acquainted with it, it will be difficult for you to surrender. That is what meditation is all about: meeting death before you die, making a few acquaintances, a few encounters with death - so you start loving the beauty of it, so you start falling in love with it, so you can see the divine face even in death.
Only a meditator can die without fighting, otherwise fight is unconscious. It is not that you will fight; you will find yourself fighting, and it will be almost impossible for you not to fight. Resistance is unconscious, it is inbuilt.