Chapter 10: The Only Romance That Knows No Divorce
Over the last few months I have been going through an amazing process of letting go of my attachments, of clearing the way for my heart to expand to you, the divine.
Thank you, Osho, for showering me with so much love. Am I worthy of so much?
Everybody is worthy of much more, much more than he is receiving. But the responsibility of not receiving more is yours.
People live a closed life. They keep all their doors and windows of the heart completely shut. It happens because of a natural phenomenon that the child is so small and so helpless, and so dependent and is always in fear; everybody is bigger and more powerful. His experience of fear in the very beginning starts the process of closing the heart.
Fear is a closing process.
Love is just the opposite, the opening process. Unfortunately, the way humanity has lived, it has lived in fear. Even if it loves, it is out of fear. And a love out of fear is absolutely false. It is better to be loveless - because at least it will go on hurting you to the point that you will have to change - than to have a substitute false love which consoles you, deceives you and keeps you where you are, a closed being.
The child is told by the parents to love them; it is almost an order. Love cannot be ordered. If through an order something resembling love happens it is false, and deep inside there is hate because nobody wants to be ordered, manipulated. But every parent is manipulating his own children: I am your mother - love me!
What is so great in being your mother? What is so great in being your father? If there is something great, the child will start loving you and then there will be a totally different world. The child will learn to love on his own, not because you have ordered but because of the way you are.
Love arises out of deep respect and gratitude, seeing your beauty and grandeur, seeing your unconditional love which asks nothing in response, not even love. If the parents can shower the child with love without asking for any response from him, the response will come. And this response will have an authenticity; it will come from the opening of the heart. The child will know that there is no reason to fear. These are not the people to be afraid of; you can open, and this is the beginning of a totally different life. Once you have learned that, the open heart is not only capable of receiving love from your parents, it is also capable of receiving love from the whole existence.
The whole secret is a simple thing - the opening of the heart. But what actually has been happening is that neither of the parents loves each other. The husband loves because he is a husband; he is supposed to love. The wife loves under submission, because she has been enslaved through marriage; she has to love.