Chapter 20: Slipping into the Vertical
And that’s what I mean when I say Veeresh, you disappear - let me work through you. I am the vertical line within you. I would like to become the vertical line of all the sannyasins here. Once you allow me, the possibility is tremendous. Good, Veeresh; this has been really good. I am happy.
I enjoyed the group but I missed the chance to work on something that I feel to be in me and that group leaders in this group and others have commented on. It is a ruthlessness.
You should repeat the Aum and make use of any opportunity that might come up to work on. This time be more watchful, and if something happens where you become frightened, that is the exact moment to move in. Go opposite the fear. Whenever you feel that something is frightening you, jump in headlong, and that will help.
Many times you miss, because when for the first time an insight comes you cannot recognize it. How can you recognize it? - You have never known it. So it is natural to miss it the first time, absolutely natural. By the time you understand it, it is gone, the moment is missed, but next time you can be more aware.
So this should be the rule: whatever frightens you, go into it. Just put aside all safety measures, securities; just gamble. The whole of life belongs to the gambler, and the whole mind has become a business man: calculating, thinking of profit and loss, never taking a risk - and risk is needed. Life comes to those who risk, who live dangerously, almost on the verge of death.
That was the attraction in the past of being a soldier, a warrior. The attraction was not of war, but of danger - just to move side by side with death. It gives you a crystallization, and there comes a time when no fear remains in you.
Just imagine a point where no fear is in you. That is freedom, what Hindus call moksha - absolute freedom. Fear is the bondage. There is no other bondage than fear. Fear is the imprisonment. Nobody is imprisoning you; it is your own fear, and you go on hiding yourself behind the walls. You have become crippled and you cannot come out in the open. Your eyes have become blind because you have lived so much in darkness, so whenever you come against light it is too dazzling.
Whenever you come near fear, you are near the door. Fear is symbolic. It says: now be aware, don’t enter here; death is here. But death is the door - to enlightenment, to all that is beautiful and true. Learn to die. That is the only way to achieve more and more abundant life. Carry your cross on your shoulders. And everybody has to carry his own cross - don’t avoid it. The more you avoid it, the more impossible it becomes to enter death.and unless you enter, there is no life.