Chapter 15: Keep the Doors Open
[addressing the group leader] Remember, that to a few people vomiting and dysentery will come, because when the stomach changes, it releases all that is there; it tries to throw it away. Constipation is also possible. It depends on the person what things will happen - but accept them.
After the seventh day the time seemed to pass very quickly, the hour of sitting seeming to be just a few minutes. I felt my body to be like the stump of a tree that was cut open, and that I was the air inside that hole. At one stage I heard the crying of a child which became a cry of pain after its mother had reproved it. This affected me very deeply; I felt it to be representative of the basic pain and suffering of humankind. And I want to ask you about this strange experience I had of my head being in two pieces. What could that be about?
Mind is divided in two parts. You don’t have one mind, you have two, and there is a very small bridge connecting both.
Sometimes in deep meditation the bridge is broken and you suddenly feel two. But this is not like schizophrenia, because in schizophrenia you not only feel two, you become two. In deep meditation you remain a witness far away; you see yourself as two minds and a third point of awareness is there. If you lose that third point of awareness it is schizophrenia, you have gone mad. If that third point of awareness remains alert, it is tremendously beautiful.you have seen a reality within the mind.
Sometimes it can happen that a person falls from a train in an accident and the bridge that connects the two brains is broken; it is very delicate. Then the person becomes two: sometimes he is one person, sometimes the other. It also happens in deep meditation, but with a difference. There is a transcendental consciousness looking at these two brains functioning absolutely separately and in deep harmony, with no conflict. It is as if two parallel lines are in deep synchronicity, in harmony, and you are a watcher - it is very beautiful. It has been an experience of witnessing.
I find it very difficult to accept the basic suffering of humanity.
It is difficult, very difficult, but once you accept that too, you will become absolutely calm. It is easier to accept one’s own misery than to accept another’s. It is even possible to accept another’s suffering, but the misery of a child - innocent, helpless, suffering for no reason at all; he cannot retaliate, cannot even protest or defend himself. It seems so unjust, so ugly, horrible, that it is difficult to accept.