Chapter 6: Being Total
Existence is like an ocean; you may feel afraid. The master is like a small spring; you need not be afraid. You can dance with the spring, you can let the spring fall on you, you can allow the showering. But in that very showering slowly, slowly you will be gone. And then you will be ready to go into the ocean, into the enormous, into the infinite.
The second question:
Do you ever commit mistakes? And if you do, what is your greatest mistake in life?
I don’t commit anything else, I only commit mistakes. I live through them, I survive through them. And I don’t like small things; I am simply against the small scale. I only love great things.
And you ask me, “What is your greatest mistake in life?” Giving sannyas to you. Now I have 50,000 alive mistakes moving around the world. I will stand with them and fall with them. Krishnamurti is far safer; he stands on his own. He has not committed a single mistake in giving initiation to anybody.
I go on initiating people. Each time I give initiation to a person it will depend: if he becomes enlightened, then I was not wrong; if he does not become I was wrong. What will the criterion be of whether I committed a mistake in giving initiation to a person or not? - only one: if he becomes enlightened then I was right in initiating him. If he does not become enlightened then I was wrong, I initiated a wrong person.
But I am not worried about mistakes. I am going to commit even more and more and more. Who cares? Even if one person becomes enlightened out of thousands of sannyasins, it is a great blessing to the world. And remember, the same is the way of existence.
Do you know that a single male can populate the whole earth? He has so many seeds of human beings - a single male! In a single lovemaking the male releases millions of seeds. Actually he will become father of, at the most, a dozen children, but he could have become a father of millions of children. The whole population of the earth today can be fathered by a single man.
A single tree brings millions of seeds. All those seeds are not going to become trees, but existence is always working through abundance. Existence is a spendthrift, it is not a miser. It knows that only a few seeds will become a tree, so what is the point of making so many seeds? It makes millions of seeds. The whole of life is an overflowing life, it is not a miserly phenomenon. Existence is very indulgent. Even if a single human being becomes enlightened, I am immensely fulfilled. The remaining ones will prove my mistakes. They will remain as mistakes, but that risk has to be taken.