Chapter 8: When You Are Ready.
Sex is a part of love, of a greater whole. Love gives it the beauty, otherwise it is one of the ugliest actions. That’s why people move into sex in darkness: even they themselves don’t like to see the act being performed in the night. You see all animals make love in the day, except man. No animal bothers in the night - night is for rest. All animals love in the day; only man loves in the night. A certain fear that the act of love is a little ugly. And no woman ever makes love with open eyes because they have a more aesthetic sense than man. They always love with closed eyes, so nothing is seen. Women are not pornographic, only man is.
That’s why so many nude pictures, paintings, of women exist: only man is interested in seeing the body. Women are not interested; they have a more aesthetic sense because the body is of the animal. Unless it becomes of the divine, there is nothing to see in it.
Love can give a new soul to sex. Then the sex is transfigured, it becomes beautiful; it is no longer sex, it has something of the beyond in it. It has become a bridge.
You can love a person because the person satisfies your sex. This is not love, just a bargain. You can make sex with a person because you love; then sex follows just like a shadow, part of love. Then it is beautiful; then it is no longer of the animal world. Then something of the beyond has already entered, and if you go on loving a person deeply, by and by sex disappears. Intimacy becomes so fulfilling, then there is no need for sex; love is enough unto itself. When that moment comes then there is the possibility of prayerfulness dawning upon you.
When two lovers are in such a deep love that love suffices and sex has simply dropped - not that it has been dropped, not that it has been suppressed, no. It has simply disappeared from your consciousness not leaving even a scar behind; then two lovers are in such total unity. Because sex divides; the very word sex comes from a root which means division. Love unites, sex divides. Sex is the root cause of division.
When you make sex to a person, woman or man, you think it unites you. For a moment it gives you the illusion of unity and then a vast division suddenly comes in. That’s why, after every sex act, a frustration, a depression sets in. One feels that one is so far away from the beloved. Sex divides, and when love goes deeper and deeper and unites more and more, there is no need for sex. Your inner energies can meet without sex, and you live in such a unity.
You can see two lovers when their sex disappears, you can see the glow that comes to two lovers when sex disappears: they exist as two bodies in one soul. The soul surrounds them; it becomes a glow all around their bodies. But it rarely happens.
People end with sex. At the most, with living together they start being affectionate to each other - at the most. But love is not simple affection, it is a unity of souls - two energies meeting and becoming whole. When this happens, only then is prayerfulness possible. Then both lovers in their unity feel so fulfilled, so perfect, that a gratitude arises; they start humming prayerfulness.