Chapter 9: Cultivating Right Attitudes
Says Patanjali, that when somebody is happy, feel happy, feel friendly. Then you also open a door towards happiness. In a subtle way, if you can feel friendly with someone who is happy, you immediately start sharing his happiness; it becomes yours also - immediately! And happiness is not some “thing,” it is not material; it is not something that somebody can cling to. You can share it. When a flower blooms you can share it; when a bird sings you can share it; when somebody is happy you can share it - and the beauty is that it does not depend on his sharing; it depends on your partaking.
If it depended on his sharing, on whether he shares or not, then it is a totally different thing. He may not like to share. But this is not a question at all, it does not depend on his sharing. When the sun rises in the morning you can be happy, and the sun cannot do anything about it. It cannot prevent you being happy. Somebody is happy: you can be friendly. It is totally your own attitude and he cannot prevent you sharing. You open a door immediately and his happiness flows towards you also.
This is the secret of creating a heaven all around you, and only within heaven can you be tranquil. How can you be tranquil in hellfire? And nobody is creating it: you create it. So the basic thing to be understood is that whenever there is misery, hell, you are the cause of it. Never throw the responsibility on anybody else because that throwing of responsibility is escaping from the basic truth. If you are miserable, only you, absolutely only you, are responsible. Look within and find the cause of it. And nobody wants to be miserable. If you can find the cause within you, you can throw it out. Nobody is standing in your way to prevent you. There is not a single obstacle to being happy.
But just by being friendly towards happy people, you become attuned to happiness. They are flowering, you become friendly. They may not be friendly; that is none of your concern. They may not even know you - that doesn’t matter. But wherever there is a blooming, wherever there is bliss, wherever somebody is flowering, wherever somebody is dancing and is happy and is smiling, wherever there is celebration, you become friendly, you partake of it. It starts flowing within you and nobody can prevent it. And when there is happiness all around you, you feel tranquil.
The mind becomes tranquil by cultivating attitudes of friendliness towards the happy.
With the happy you feel jealous - in a subtle competition. With happy people you feel yourself inferior. You always choose people around you who are unhappy. You become friendly with unhappy people because with unhappy people you feel yourself superior. You always seek somebody who is below you. You are afraid of the higher; you always seek the lower, and the more you seek the lower, the lower you fall. Then even lower people are needed.