Chapter 21: The Most Blissful Moment - When You Cannot Find Yourself
Both these desires - to understand and to be understood - are together. Unless you understand, you cannot drop the desire to be understood. Once you understand just the simple existence of your being, both disappear. There is nothing more to understand, and there is no question that anybody should understand you.
The same is true about love. The moment you understand what love is, you experience what love is, you become love. Then there is no need in you to be loved, and there is no need in you to love. Loving will be your simple, spontaneous existence, your very breathing. You cannot do anything else; you will be simply loving.
Now if in return, love does not come to you, you will not feel hurt, for the simple reason that only a person who has become love can love. You can give only that which you have. Asking people to love you - people who don’t have love in their life, who have not come to the source of their being where love has its shrine - how can they love you? They can pretend. They can say, they can even believe, but sooner or later these things are going to be known as only a pretension, that it is only acting, that it is hypocrisy.
There may not be an intention to deceive you, but what can the person do? You ask for love, and the other person also wants love. Both understand that you are expected to love, that only then can you get love - so you both try in every possible way to take the posture of love. But the posture is empty. And both are going to discover it, and both are going to complain about it against the other, that it is not right. From the very beginning it has been two beggars begging from each other, and both have only empty begging bowls.
Both are pretending that they can give, but their basic desire is to get. If you don’t have it, you cannot give it. And those who have it - this is to be understood very clearly - those who have found the source of love within themselves are no longer in need of being loved. They will be loved.
They will love for no other reason, but simply because they have too much of it - just as a rain cloud wants to rain, just as a flower wants to release its fragrance, with no desire to get anything. The reward of love is in loving, not in getting love.
These are the mysteries of life, that if a person is rewarded just in loving people, many will love him. Because by being in contact with him, they will slowly start finding the source within themselves. Now they know one person at least who showers love and whose love is not out of any need. The more he shares and showers his love, the more it grows.
The same is true about understanding. If you are close to a person of understanding you will see that he shares; sharing is his joy, it is not his business. He gives wholeheartedly, knowing perfectly well that he will find many doors closed in his face, but his understanding is deep enough to understand these people who misunderstand him.