Chapter 19: Responsibility
But don’t get foolish ideas from your friends, otherwise the cancer can appear again - because it is not my doing, it is your doing. If you become doubtful, and if you don’t know how it has happened, your doubt can create the cancer. It was your totality which dissolved it; your doubt can make a way for it to come back. And then none of your friends will say, “Be realistic.” Then you will have to go back to the same attitude, but it will be more difficult this time.
It is better not to get into the same trouble again. It will be difficult this time because you will be expecting - which was not there before. The first time you had cancer you were not expecting any miracle. Now if it happens you will be loving, you will be trying to be total - but trying to be total is not total, trying to be loving is not loving. And deep down expecting that the cancer will be dissolved - it is not the same situation.
And remember, don’t blame me, that I have not helped you the next time. The first time I had not helped you either. It is always you. Whatsoever happens to you, you are responsible.
Sitting silently, doing nothing, the grass grows by itself.and I fall asleep. Somehow I always feel envy for those people who can sit silently for hours, but I really can’t manage it, and I have been trying hard. I’m only good at fighting, at creating troubles, at dancing with creativity, at shouting from the rooftops, at singing loudly. So does that mean that there is no hope for me?
Sarjano, the haiku you are quoting is from a great master, Basho. I know him. I can tell him to change it a little just to save a poor Italian. And the change that I can suggest to Basho will not be such that he will feel any difficulty.
The haiku is, “Sitting silently, doing nothing, the spring comes and the grass grows by itself.”
I can tell him to make just a little change: Sitting silently, doing nothing, the sleep comes and the grass grows by itself. I don’t think there is any problem. You have every hope.
But don’t try your other things; they will not fit. Sleep is a perfect spiritual activity - but shouting from the rooftops, creating trouble, and doing all the things you are saying in your question, they don’t fit.
And as far as the grass is concerned, while you are asleep it has more chances to grow silently; otherwise you are going to create trouble.
Basho’s haiku is tremendously important. He is simply saying that if you can relax, godliness grows by itself. It is not the grass. He cannot use the word godliness, but that’s what he means: godliness grows by itself. So sleeping silently is a perfectly right atmosphere for godliness to grow. You have every hope.
As far as Basho is concerned, I will persuade him to change the haiku.