Chapter 5: Existence Still Hopes
But God cannot be angry with you. You are the way he has made you, you are not your own creation. How can he be angry with you? That would amount to being angry with himself; that would be a self-condemnation.
But you start thinking about small things as if you are doing great sins. The ego always loves to do great things. Even if you are doing something wrong, you want to pretend that this is the greatest wrong that has ever been done or will ever be done. You want it to be unique, incomparable; you want it to be on the top. The ego always feels good if something great is being done. It may be a sin - that doesn’t matter.
What great sin can you commit? All our sins are nothing but small things; we are small, our sins cannot be great. Our hands are small; whatsoever we do is going to remain small, because it will have our signature.
Your life, virtuous or wicked, is not going to be a barrier or a bridge because you are already bridged, and there is no way of disconnecting yourself from God. And it is not a question that when you sin, God forgives you. He is forgiveness, he is continuously flowing in tremendous love towards you.
His love is like a flood, your sins are like straw. The flood will take them away. And the flood does not come to take your sins away; it is already there. To understand this, to see the point of it is a great relief, as if a mountain suddenly disappears off your chest. You become light, weightless. And only in that weightlessness can you worship.
The sinner cannot worship, he is continuously frightened. Fear cannot create prayer. Prayer created by fear remains political, a strategy of the mind to persuade God; it is a kind of bribery. Real prayer arises out of understanding, out of love.
Luther is really right when he says, “Pecca fortiter, sin boldly.” Whatsoever you are doing, do it boldly. You belong to God and God belongs to you. This is your home. Don’t live like a stranger, don’t be here like a guest, you are part of the host. Live without fear.
But our egos continuously go on magnifying things.
A man was in love with a woman for many years. And the woman was waiting and waiting: “Now he is going to propose. Now he is going to propose.” And one day he proposed. She could not believe her own ears, she could not believe her own eyes. She had waited so long that she had almost become settled that it was not going to happen.
She hugged the man, she kissed the man, and she said, “I cannot believe my own ears. I have waited so long for this!”
The man said, “Will you marry me?” And she said, “Yes, yes! A thousand times, yes!”