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Chapter 20: A Graceful Old Age Is Your Birthright

My effort here is to fill your heart with laughter. Your every fiber of being should love to dance in every situation, whether it is day or night, whether you are down or up. Irrespective of the situation, an undercurrent of cheerfulness should continue. That is authentic religiousness to me.

A few sutras for you, Devageet.

.An ancient man is one who wears his glasses in bed so he can get a better look at the girls he dreams about.

.An ancient man is one who only flirts with young girls at parties so his wife will take him home.

.The beauty of being ancient is that since you are too old to set a bad example, you can start giving good advice.

Only a really old man, well-versed in the wisdom of life, can say: .Puppy love is lots of fun but few men realize it is the beginning of a dog’s life.

.Women like the simple things in life - for example, the old men. Once the women start liking you, it means you are finished. They are no longer afraid of you; you are perfectly acceptable.

Women have their own reasons, although:

.Women’s reason is like eternity: it passeth all understanding.

Devageet, if you have really become old, then you are in a wrong place. The right place for you will only be a Catholic monastery, because:

.A Catholic monastery is a home for unmarried fathers.

Devageet, if you are really old:

.Start loving your enemies; it makes them so angry.

.An old married man’s best friend is his wife’s husband.

Get it?.No. I have to give you some explanation.

A man was sitting with his best friend and told him, “My wife has escaped with my best friend.”

The friend said, “What are you talking about? I’m your best friend.”

The man said, “No, no more.”

.For ancient ones there is a new thing in the world to do; its name is punk yoga. Punk yoga is where you stand on someone else’s head.

.Inside every older person there is a younger person wondering what happened.

And remember, Devageet:

.If you are not going all the way, why go at all? And don’t be worried at all about your old age, your ancientness. At least as far as enlightenment is concerned, it does not care how you get there: young, old, ancient; man, woman, all are accepted without any exception, because the ultimate experience is welcoming everybody from every direction. One need not be concerned about these small matters; moreover, they are not facts. You are simply getting paranoid about gossips.

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