Chapter 16: When It Is Ripe, the Heart Opens
He said, “From now onwards you are not going to anybody’s death, when somebody’s body is being taken to the crematorium.”
I said, “I will not go with you. That is decided. But I will go on my own.”
In fact that is the only procession at which nobody prevents you. If you go into some marriage procession people prevent you, because you are not invited. If you go to some party, people prevent you because you are not invited. That is the only open procession, and I didn’t want to miss it. If I had not been there the whole thing would have been missed; nobody understood because all the people there were grown up. They were not his students. I was the only student.
But everybody was asking me, “What happened to you?”
And when I told the story to all the people they all started laughing. They said, “It was worth laughing at.”
Even my father was laughing. He said, “The story is certainly worth laughing at, but the situation is not.”
I said, “When there is something to laugh at, don’t bother about the situation because then you have to repress it.”
From my very childhood I have been against repressing any joyful feeling that comes to you. Why throw it into the garbage of your unconscious? And if you throw it into the unconscious, it is not true happiness; there must be something in it of which you are afraid, something which makes you repress it. Otherwise it is such a human phenomenon to share.
But once you repress, remember, everything repressed goes to the unconscious, and that dark hole changes the quality of everything.