Chapter 29: Stillness, Calmness and Serenity
“If, in a still and calm and silent moment.” Do you know any still, calm and silent moment? Is it your existential experience? If it were so, you would not start the question with if. But as far as I am concerned, if you are in a silent, calm and still moment, I will not wait for you to whisper, “Kill me now”; I will kill you before that. I don’t postpone anything and I don’t wait for anything, because the next moment is so uncertain.
And when you are calm and still and silent, from where will the question come? From a silent space when you are enjoying life in its real essence, when it is the most juicy experience, from where will the whisper come, “Kill me now”? In fact your stillness, your calmness and your silence has already killed you. And it is pointless to kill a man who is already killed. I am a lazy man, I don’t make unnecessary efforts. Once killed, killed for ever.
But this very experience of death in silence is the beginning of a new life.very fresh, very young, just a green sprout, just the early morning cool breeze. It does not have the old connotations about death that your mind may be filled with: darkness, danger, angels of death surrounding you, pulling your soul out from your body while you cling to the body.
Death is a tremendously beautiful experience, perhaps the most significant moment in your whole life. It is the very climax, the crescendo, as if your whole life has become concentrated in a single moment.
It is a known fact all over the world that sometimes people drown, but don’t die; they are saved. All these people have a strange experience, all over the world this similar experience. When a person is drowning, he knows he is dying. He has no idea that he will be saved. He comes up from the water one or two or three times at the most, just for a few seconds. But in those few seconds a strange thing happens: he starts seeing his whole life as a film, passing fast before him from the day he can remember up to the moment when he is drowning, as if the whole mind exposes itself, all its memories.
It has been a great question mark for the scientists. How is it possible within two or three seconds to see your whole life, which has taken you seventy years to live? But it happens. The film goes quickly. You see your whole life. If the man is saved he will tell people that he saw his whole life.
This is about the ordinary man with a very small consciousness. When an enlightened man is dying he not only sees his whole life, he also sees death as the highest peak he has ever experienced. It is not an enemy, but a great friend; because it is not the end but the beginning of a greater life, of an eternal life.
So you need not even whisper and I don’t literally have to kill you. Your silence, your calm, your stillness will do my work. I have to kill indirectly, otherwise it will be illegal and criminal. I don’t touch you, I simply teach you something which is going to kill you. No court, no law can say anything against me, that I kill you. I was teaching you silence, meditation, I was teaching you to be joyous, I was teaching you stillness, and no court, no law, no lawmakers have any idea that this is the situation in which one finally dies as far as the old is concerned and is reborn into a totally new vision with fresh eyes.