Chapter 29: Stillness, Calmness and Serenity
The whole world changes for you. It is no longer separate. It is not something you have to conquer, to fight, to prove your manliness. No! It is something so tremendously close to your heart, it surrounds you with such warmth and love, that you simply allow a let-go. In that let-go is the crucifixion of the old and the resurrection of the new.
Ancient scriptures say, “The master is death.” They are right, but only half right. The master is also the resurrection. But as far as the disciple is concerned he has no idea about resurrection, he only sees death.
And there is a very subtle psychology behind it, Rakesh. You have not lived peacefully, you have not lived in stillness, you have not lived in silence; your life has been just vegetation. Naturally when you find stillness, calmness and serenity, a desire deep within you arises that this is the right moment to disappear. You have never seen such a beautiful space. This is the space, not to go back from, but to go deeper into and disappear.
It all comes automatically. Death will happen to you, if you meditate to the very end. It will happen at the very center of your being, and from there, just as a seed dies in the soil and a sprout arises out of the death of the seed, you will die; but something fresh, young, eternally fresh, green, will arise out of your death. On your death will blossom roses of your enlightenment. The new life will be the life of light, the life of blessings, the life of love.
It has nothing to do with your old idea of death. You have to learn a new alphabet, a new language with new connotations. As you become a meditator you cannot go on carrying the old associations with words which have been given to you by society, which is absolutely unconscious.
You don’t need me to kill you. Although I am making every effort to kill you, I cannot kill you directly. And killing you directly is not going to help. It will be simply murder - of a vegetable! It is not a crime, in fact, because a vegetable cutting knife would be enough. You are not yet there to be killed. You are so fast asleep, so dormant, it can be said you are absent.
First be present in this silence, which is still an if for you. Make it a reality. In this silence will arise your presence and with that presence you will feel death as a welcome guest. It takes you out of the grip of the old and helps you to move into the cosmic existence. It is a blessing, but only for those who are conscious. Otherwise it is a curse for those who are unconscious.
In the Upanishads there is a very beautiful story:
An old man, a very rich man, a super-high-caste brahmin, very learned in scriptures, is distributing to other brahmins gifts, because he knows he is going to die soon. His small son, whose name is Nachiketa, looks at the things that he is distributing. They are all rotten junk; people give these things as gifts. I have been watching gifts; they go on moving from one hand to another hand. Nobody uses them; they are so useless that the moment you get them you start looking for somebody to give them to.