Chapter 6: Now Is Not Part of Time
Now, the perfect combination. So Amida is a woman; talking is easy. There are many reasons for it. Have you watched? - small girls start talking before boys. Boys lag behind. In colleges, schools, universities also, as far as language is concerned, girls are always better than boys. They always get higher marks, they are more articulate. Something seems to be different between the feminine mind and the male mind: the male mind is a better doer, the female mind is a better talker.
Maybe because much energy is taken by doing as far as man is concerned; no energy is taken by doing as far as woman is concerned, so the whole energy pours into one direction. But there is nothing wrong about it. A good talker has something valuable: he can communicate better. To be articulate is beautiful because communication is more possible. And a good talk is an aesthetic value in itself. But first, let the flood be thrown out. Then things will sort themselves out, then things will settle.
After this flood is gone, Amida will find very small sentences coming into her consciousness, but diamond-like, each sentence a value in itself. But first this flood has to go. If the flood is repressed, then those diamonds will be lost forever. That’s why all the great scriptures of the world are written in sutras, aphorisms because the people who wrote them went through this flood of catharsis. When the catharsis was complete, then diamond-like, small sentences - simple, aesthetic, beautiful, complete - started bubbling in the consciousness. It is from that consciousness that the Vedas, the Koran were born. And it is from that consciousness that the beauty of the language of the Bible arises. Never again has it been surpassed.
Jesus was illiterate, but nobody has ever surpassed that clarity, that penetrating reality of his assertions. Behind it is great meditation. The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali or the Brahma Sutras of Badarayana or the Bhakti Sutras of Narada - small sentences, the smallest you can conceive, almost telegraphic - but so much is pressed into them that each sentence has atomic energy. If it explodes - and if you lovingly take it into yourself, into your heart, it will explode - you will become luminous through it. But first the flood has to go. It is a good symbol that the flood has come. Allow it. If you can find some sympathetic ears, good. Otherwise, trees, rocks, but don’t repress it.
The fifth question:
I am confronted by death. I accept, or so I think, and then people get sick and death happens and hospitalization and I get this enormous knot of fear in my stomach. I am so scared of death and dying. I get so freaked out.