Chapter 7: Surrender in Darkness
It sometimes happens - this conversion; it is very psychological. He was so obsessed by Jesus and how to destroy his message that he was continuously thinking about Jesus, dreaming about Jesus. Jesus was his obsession twenty-four hours a day. Moving on the road towards Jerusalem alone one night, he heard as if Jesus had shouted and said “Why are you persecuting me? Why?” It may have been just his own unconscious, it may have been just his whole obsession that his whole unconscious started feeling.. His conscious was against Jesus, and the unconscious always goes against the conscious - it is just polar opposite. When the conscious was too much against Jesus, the unconscious must have become by and by interested in Jesus. This voice must have come from his innermost core, “Why? Why are you persecuting me?”
Hearing this voice, he fell on the ground in the dust. He was very much shocked, and this proved to him that Jesus was powerful. He became converted. His name was Saul; his name now became Paul - he became converted. First he was persecuting Jesus’ disciples.. He was not a contemporary of Jesus: Jesus was gone. And now he changed his whole energies. First he was persecuting Christians, now he started converting people to Christianity. And this Paul became the foundation of the Vatican church. This Paul had never known Jesus. He had never walked with the master; he was not a contemporary. And this Paul was a dangerous man - obsessed, angry, violent, aggressive. But he converted the world to Christianity, he became the foundation.
Peter was lost, and Peter was the rock chosen by Jesus. And why had he chosen Peter? And why had he called him “rock”? Because he was the most conscious.
Jesus’ whole message is the message of consciousness. But great work is needed, only then can you make your life on a rock; otherwise you will be building on sand.
Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them.
Doing is the question, because only by doing will you attain to being; not by saying, not by thinking. Doing means to be committed to whatsoever you feel is right.
Just the other night a young woman was here and she was saying “I am already a sannyasin and you are in my heart, but I cannot take sannyas yet.” If I am in your heart, if you think you are already a sannyasin, then why not be committed? Then why not be involved? It is easy to say that you are in my heart - it is very easy. It is very easy to say “I am already a sannyasin in my heart.” But to become committed, to declare to the world “I am a sannyasin” is more difficult, takes more courage, needs more guts.
Jesus says: Unless you do what you think is right, nothing is going to happen. You can go on thinking and thinking. Thinking never transforms anybody; thoughts are impotent. Only acts are potent, only doings ultimately become your being.
.I will liken him unto a wise man.
who doeth what I am saying.
.which built his house upon a rock:
And the rain descended, and the floods came,
and the winds blew, and beat upon that house;
and it fell not:
for it was founded upon a rock.