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OSHO Online Library   »   The Books   »   Returning to the Source
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Chapter 1: One Short Note

Just the other day I was talking to somebody and I told him, “Now you are ready, take a jump into sannyas.” The man said, “I will think about it.” How can you think about it? Thinking is possible only if you have known it before, because thinking moves into the realm of the known. If you had known in the past what sannyas is, if you had ever been a sannyasin, then you could think about it. But once you have been a sannyasin you can never be otherwise, because to be a sannyasin is such a transformation. You don’t know what sannyas is and you say, “I will think about it.” How will you think about it? What will you think about it?

Sannyas is a movement into the unknown. It is a trust. It is not your rational decision, it is an irrational jump. If you are fed up with your reason, only then. But you say, “I will decide.” Who will decide? your mind? Are you not fed up with your mind? Have you not done everything the mind says to you to do? Where have you got through it? Where have you reached? What has happened? Look at your life; this is where your mind has got you to - it is a hell. Still you cling to it and you say, “I will think about it.” And who are you, and who is saying, “I will think about it”? Who is this “I”?

Sannyas is to drop the “I,” and if the “I” decides then there can be no dropping, because in the very decision the “I” has been saved. You cannot decide, that’s why it is a trust. That’s why I say it is an ultimate love affair. If you trust you trust a master. Then you don’t say, “I will decide.” You simply say, “I accept; I am here available, you do whatsoever you want to do with me. Don’t ask, just do whatsoever you want to do with me.” That is the meaning of acceptance - it is a trust, it is shraddha, it is faith; it is not a conviction.

.and while he was there he accepted the true teaching.

You cannot learn it, it cannot be taught. But it can be accepted and it can be given. Whenever you are ready to accept it, it can be given, just like the lotus flower of the Buddha. Don’t think in literal terms. Don’t think that Buddha really carried the lotus flower in his hand. His hand is the lotus flower; he is the lotus flower. It is possible that only Mahakashyapa could see it, nobody else.

Look at my hand - the lotus flower is there. If you accept, I can give it to you. But acceptance means a death. Acceptance means that you die as you are. Something new is born, disconnected, discontinuous with the past. When you are reborn you will not be able to connect it with who was there before, because the old man and the new man never meet. The old man goes out, the new man comes in, but in the innermost core of your being they never meet. The old goes out.only then the inner opens for the new to receive. They never meet.

Enlightenment is a discontinuity with the past. You will never become enlightened, remember; you will have to leave. Only when you leave, only when you are not in the way, does the new happen.

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