Chapter 6: Your Boat Is Useless on Land
Or if you think your endeavors alone will bring about the result and you keep on struggling consciously, then too it does not happen. Where your effort and his compassion meet, your efforts end, and only his grace remains.
You are restricted only by your conscious self. He is only in your unconscious. You are limited by the boundaries of your conscious mind, your thoughts. Below these, in your very depth, he resides. Although he is already there within you, the door between the conscious and the unconscious has to be broken down by your own effort. The experience of union happens only through his compassion.
Those who wish to seek must first explore thoroughly and entirely; then they have to let go of all searching. Only when they have tried totally should the search be given up, not before that, or else all goes in vain. When the search is complete, when you have staked your all without holding back a single thing, only then does the search slip from the conscious to the unconscious; for there you are not, your ego is no more.
In sleep where is your ego, your arrogance? In sleep there is no one to say I: that “I am a king” or “I am a millionaire”. The I is completely lost. In the same manner there is not the faintest inkling of the ego within your unconscious. The I is a product of the conscious mind. With effort his I breaks; when you are exhausted the ego dissolves. As the ego dissolves, the door to the unconscious opens. And the door of the unconscious is the entrance to God. Those who have reached have all passed through this door. But then you are not there, there is no one to say I; therefore in the moment of attainment you will say, “His grace, his compassion.”
This gives rise to an illusion, a doubt: you may wonder if his grace is more for some and less for others. If it is his grace alone, a few are attaining but the majority are not. Is this some rank injustice? Remember, through your own efforts alone you become worthy of his compassion. His grace showers on all, all the time, but you are not fit for it. Therefore it is your failure to accept what you are getting, not some discrimination on his part.
Nanak says, No one is high and no one is low before Him.
No one is worthy, no one unworthy. He gives, he showers on all alike. But if you are not ready to take, you will keep on missing. You are not ready to take his grace.
If you find a rough diamond by the wayside you will not pick it up, but if a jeweler passes that way, he will because he knows its value. To you it’s only a piece of stone. The diamond was equally available to you and to the jeweler; it was there for anyone’s taking. The diamond didn’t differentiate between you and the jeweler; it hadn’t refused you in favor of the jeweler. The fact remains, you did not recognize it; the jeweler did. He had the eyes, the capacity, to spot it.