Chapter 2: The Real Difficulty Is to Be With Me
Greetings from the Indian “Rajneesh Times” family and everyone at the Rajneeshdham Neo-Sannyas Commune. There are many sannyasins both in India and abroad who have never seen you, but their love for you and their commitment to your vision is awe-inspiring. How exactly does this happen - this much love, this much trust?
It is in fact easier if you have not seen me, and yet the love has happened, the commitment. It will be far more pure, far more unconditional, far more impersonal. Seeing me, being with me, and yet loving me totally, is more difficult.
The reasons are that our minds are brought up in such a way that we are always full of expectations. If I fulfill your expectation, it is good; but if I don’t fulfill your expectation, then your dedication, your trust, start wavering. And as far as I am concerned, I cannot fulfill your expectation. If I fulfill your expectation, then I will not be the person to help you grow. Your expectation fulfilled, you remain as you are - no new openings.
I am not here to support your mind.
I am here to take it to ultimate heights.
But your expectations are a problem. In small things, unconsciously, throughout your whole life you are expecting. And whenever something goes against your idea, you never think that your idea can be wrong; then certainly the person is wrong.
It happened in one Jaina family I used to stay with.. It must have been six in the evening. A very old man, the father of the woman in whose house I was staying, came to see me. Now, in Jaina families, six is almost the last limit for the evening supper. As the sun sets, you cannot eat.
I was just going to take my bath and then to take my supper, but because the old man had come from far away and he must have been almost ninety-five, I said, “Wait, there is no hurry. I can take my bath a little later on and the supper can wait - there is no problem in it. First, let me talk to him about why he has come.”
He was a ninety-five-year-old man and he had been living in a Jaina monastery for thirty years: he had renounced the world. He was recognized as a saint, but just to come to see me was still to be in the Jaina community, so many Jainas had come following him. He told me.the first thing, he touched my feet. I said, “This is not right, because you are ninety-five; even my grandfather is not ninety-five.”
He said, “I have wanted to touch your feet for so long. I was afraid that death might spoil everything, and I might not be able to touch your feet. I have read only one of your books - Path To Self-Realization, and that was it. It changed my whole life. Since then, you have been my master. If it was in my power..”