Chapter 24: Not Virtue, but Awareness
How is it that going into something consciously has such a power to reveal all the threads which make up the tangle?
The reality is just the opposite. All our tangles in life are created by our unconsciousness, so the moment you become conscious those tangles disappear. It is not the power of consciousness that makes them disappear. It is the power of unconsciousness that creates them.
All the tangles of life, of love, of relationship are created by our unconsciousness. We don’t know what we are doing, and by the time we become aware it is too late. What has been done cannot be undone. Our unconsciousness is very supportive to the ego - they have a co-existence. Coming of consciousness will not only disperse all the tangles, it will also disperse you as an ego. It is a very complicated and complex phenomenon.
In your unconsciousness you do something. It is almost certain that once you have done something wrong that has created misery in you, around you, you will come to your senses. But you cannot undo it because the ego comes in between. You cannot even say, “I am sorry.” Just a simple apology may disperse the tangle but the ego won’t allow even that. And you are almost a victim; you are not doing things. Your unconsciousness, your unawareness goes on forcing you to do things.
Just last night I answered Shunyo’s question very lightly and very lovingly and very joyously. I joked about it, but she was pissed off - I could see her face. Milarepa was angry.
You don’t know what you are doing. What you are doing is almost beyond your hands; you are reacting. If Shunyo had heard what I was saying.I was simply saying, “Don’t take it seriously.” I was laughing about it, but she could not laugh. You all laughed because it was not your problem. The more you laughed the more you made her serious.
In each person’s life the time of change comes. And one of the greatest things to remember is that when you change a certain pattern of life, you have to change naturally. It is not in your hands. Biology makes you capable of sex at the age of thirteen or fourteen; it is not your doing.
At a certain age, as you are coming closer to forty or forty-two, the biology’s purpose is finished. All those hormones that have been propelling you are disappearing. To accept this change is very difficult. You suddenly start thinking as if you are no longer beautiful, that you need a face-lift.
I have heard about a woman who was saying to the plastic surgeon, “I need a face-lift.”