Chapter 31: The Courage to Be Ignorant
One day it will explode. You need not wait for it; even your waiting will be a distraction. You forget all about it. That’s why in my presence you feel so good - because there is no yesterday, no tomorrow. Just here.this is our whole world for the moment. One day that atomic explosion within you happens. Finally, one day you go even beyond it - then everything disappears.
That’s why I say again and again that what has happened in the East as far as spiritual growth is concerned is incomparable. All other religions are far behind. Now, no religion can say that knowledge disappears, discipline disappears, enlightenment disappears - only then you are at home.
Buddha is saying billions of buddhas are not worth it: it is so valuable, the ultimate value. And it is available to all, every moment of your life. It is so mysterious how you go on missing it; it is the one thing that should not be missed. But a centuries old wrong upbringing is destroying your small precious moment.
It is up to you to throw away all that upbringing and let this small moment be all - and you have attained everything. Then you need not worry. Existence takes care. Existence is very compassionate.
Where is my question disappearing to? It is there one minute, and when I want to write it down it is gone, blank. Is it going into hiding in my subconscious?.and why?
It is not going into your unconscious. It is coming from your unconscious, but when you start writing it, it becomes conscious. And this is a simple process: anything unconscious becoming conscious starts disappearing; it loses meaning.
On this simple principle the whole of psychoanalysis stands. Your dreams are unconscious. Tell them to the psychoanalyst - by telling them you will be making them conscious. Once they are conscious, they disappear.
Unconsciousness is a kind of basement where you go on throwing things, repressing things. Things that you don’t want to see, things that you don’t want to hear, things that you don’t want to accept, you go on throwing into the unconscious. It is your rejected parts - allow them to surface. That is what is happening while you are asking the question, and why I am insisting that you go on asking.
My answer may help you or not, but your asking is going to help you certainly. If it is something unconscious that wants to come into light, and you start writing it, you find it is losing meaning. Its whole meaning is in repression. Unrepressed it bursts like a soap bubble.