Chapter 4: I Am a Drunkard
And the journalists think themselves very clever, they think themselves very knowledgeable, they think themselves very intellectual. A great misunderstanding prevails that they are part of the intelligentsia - they are not!
Intelligence is always creative; it is only nonintelligence which is critical. Criticism is not of much value; hence I don’t pay any attention to what they go on saying. And you need not be worried about them - leave them to themselves.
The last question:
How do you manage to speak year in, year out, and still it is always as fresh as the morning rays of the sun?
I am a drunkard! I don’t know what I have said yesterday. In fact I don’t know what I have said today. And slowly, slowly you also become drunkards with me, so you go on forgetting. Hence it appears every day fresh and new, because neither I remember nor you remember! And there is no need to remember either.
The new priest at his first mass was so afraid he could hardly speak. Before his second week at the pulpit he asked the other priest how he could relax.
The priest replied, “Next week it may help if you put a martini in the water pitcher. After a few sips, everything should go smoothly.”
The following week, the young priest put his elder’s suggestion into practice and really talked up a storm.
After his sermon, he asked the other priest how he liked the sermon.
The elder priest replied, “There are a few things you should learn before addressing the congregation again:
1. Next time sip instead of gulp the martini.
2. There are twelve disciples, not ten.
3. There are ten commandments, not twelve.
4. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
5. We do not refer to our savior Jesus Christ and his disciples as J.C. and the boys.
6. Next week there is a taffy-pulling contest at Saint Peter’s, not a peter-pulling contest at Taffy’s.
7. We do not refer to the cross as the Big T.
8. The Father, Son and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Big Daddy, Junior and Spook.
9. Last but not least, it is the Virgin Mary, not Mary with the cherry.”
Enough for today.