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Chapter 3: The Sword and the Lotus

The wife is afraid. She is uneducated, has no financial position and has children. All the money is in the hands of the husband; she is just a commodity. Because you have reduced the woman into a commodity she is constantly watching where you are going, what you are doing. She is looking into your pockets, she is even watching when you are sleeping.

I have heard: a woman was watching the husband while he was sleeping. Now, in sleep he cannot go anywhere - but in his sleep he was talking to some woman: “Maria! Sweetheart, sugar pie!”

The woman immediately shook the husband and asked, “Who is this Maria?”

Husbands have also become clever.. He said, “Maria? It is a horse. I am thinking to bet on the coming horse race, and Maria seems to be the right horse!”

The wife said, “Okay.”

In the morning Maria phoned. The wife immediately took the phone - she never allows the husband to take the phone - and she told the husband, “The horse is calling!”

Unless marriage disappears from the world, jealousy cannot disappear.

But religion is very insistent on marriage. It is not worried about the suffering of millions of people unnecessarily. People are driving each other mad with their jealousy, with their new girlfriends. And men are also jealous, it is not that only women are jealous.

Men are jealous because they want their wives to be absolutely dedicated to them. They know they are not dedicated, but they are men - boys are boys; all this dedication and surrender is for the woman. Boys are boys and will remain always boys.

But I say to you: girls are girls!

It is time for Sardar Gurudayal Singh.

Harry Manners, a very proper British gentleman, is in the habit of taking his wife, Mabel, on holiday to France every year.

This year they are staying, as usual, in their little seaside cottage, when Mabel becomes suddenly ill and dies.

Harry is very upset but manages to keep the British “stiff upper lip” and decides to have Mabel’s funeral there, in the French village.

Monsieur Felix, the mayor, lends Harry a black suit for the funeral, but being British, Harry feels it would not be proper to go without a black hat. He feels that his wife, Mabel, would expect it of him.

So Harry goes into town to the local men’s shop and tries in his best French to ask the salesman for a black hat.

“Have you a capot noir?” asks Harry.

The salesman thinks Harry is mad, because in French, capot means condom. So he points to the pharmacy across the road, and sends Harry there.

“Have you a capot noir?” asks Harry, wondering why the French keep black hats in a pharmacy.