Chapter 11: Free and Alive
I feel very great friendship towards women.. I feel love, but I don’t feel like I want to make love.
You will have to. It has become a habit and you have to get out of it. It has become a dead routine. Make a friendship with a man - and that you are doing with women. Make love to a woman - and that you are doing with men. You are topsy-turvy.
But I was also married.
You remained homosexual. You have made love to a woman but you were never in it.
So try it again, and try here. Just open your eyes and look again. I know how difficult it is, because once homosexuality settles in the mind you are attracted only towards men. Suddenly women don’t exist; they are no longer attractive.
But this is dangerous. Then this food problem will remain with you your whole life - and this is not the only problem. Others will remain and it will be difficult to solve them. Just have a look. Find a woman, and even if you just feel friendship, bring her to me, because I will have to talk to the woman to force you out of your habit. You will need a very very wise woman to bring you out of your rut. I will make her wise. You just find one! And if you cannot, I will find a woman and force her to seduce you!
But first you try - because the very effort will be very very good. So from tomorrow morning you start looking. There are many beautiful women around here, don’t be worried. Somebody will take pity!
Once you enter into a relationship, the right relationship in which things flow, your food problem will disappear. It has to disappear; it is not a problem, it is just symptomatic.
Try, and then we will see. Make it a real search; sincerely try to find a woman. Because it is time.if you delay, then every day it will be later and later, and things will become more difficult.
I want to come closer to you, but it feels that the more I’m here, the more afraid I feel. For hours after your talks I feel this fear inside.and yet I love it too.