Chapter 9: A Conscious Death
Sometimes the body is healthy, sometimes the body is ill. Watch, just watch, and suddenly you will have a sense of a totally different quality of being. You are not the body. The body is ill, of course, but you are not ill. The body is healthy, but it has nothing to do with you.
You are a witness, a watcher on the hills, far beyond - of course, tethered to the body, but not identified with the body; rooted in the body, but always beyond and transcending.
The first meditation is to separate yourself from the body. And by and by, when you become more acute in your observation of the body, start observing the thoughts that continuously go on within your mind. But first watch the body, because it is gross, can be observed more easily, will not need much awareness. Once you become attuned, then start watching the mind.
Whatsoever can be watched becomes separate from you. Whatsoever you can witness, you are not it. You are the witnessing consciousness. The witnessed is the object; you are the subjectivity.
The body, and the mind also remain far away when you become a witness. Suddenly you are there, with no body and with no mind - a pure consciousness, just simple sheer purity, an innocence, a mirror.
In this innocence, for the first time you know who you are. In this purity, for the first time existence becomes life. For the first time you are. Before it, you were simply asleep, dreaming. Now you are.
And when you are, then there is no death. Then you know that you will be witnessing your death also. One who has become capable of witnessing life has become capable of witnessing death, because death is not the end of life, it is the very culmination of it, it is the very pinnacle of it. Life comes to its peak in death. Because you are afraid, you miss. Otherwise death is the greatest orgasm there is.
You have known the small orgasm of sex. In sex also, a small, a little death happens. Some life-energy is released from your body - you feel orgasmic, unburdened, relaxed, Just think of death. The whole energy that you have is released. Death is the greatest orgasm.
In sexual orgasm just a small, minute part of your energy is relaxed. Then too you feel so beautiful. Then too you feel so relaxed and you fall in deep sleep, all tensions dissolved. You become a harmony. Think of death as the whole life released. From every pore of your body, the whole life released back to the whole. It is the greatest orgasm there is.
Yes, death is the greatest orgasm, but people go on missing it because of fear.
The same happens with sexual orgasm. Many people go on missing it. They cannot have any orgasm because of the fear. They cannot move totally in it. Remember this, people who are afraid of death will be afraid of sex also.