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OSHO Online Library   »   The Books   »   This, This, A Thousand Times This: The Very Essence of Zen
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Chapter 12: Infinite Depth

Maneesha, even the bamboos are no longer commenting. When you are feeling it so solidly, there is no need for any comment. There are very few human beings on the earth today.at this moment, so much blessed, so much in tune with existence. This silence is just a simple proof. Why have the bamboos stopped making their commentaries? Not without reason.

Before you also enter into the same silence as the bamboos. a few laughs.

Paddy is in court, requesting damages for injuries to his arm, which happened in an accident at work.

“Would you show me how far you can raise your arm now?” asks the defense advocate.

With a great deal of effort Paddy raises his arm six inches.

“And could you raise it higher before the accident?” asks the advocate.

“Of course,” says Paddy, “I could raise it this high.!”

This is our unconsciousness.

A young policeman is escorting a drunk driver down to the prison cells at the police station.

“You are going to be locked up for the night,” he explains.

“What is the charge?” demands the prisoner.

“There is no charge,” says the cop. “It is all part of the service.”

Bertie Ballsoff, the company chief, telephones his home one afternoon. The Mexican housemaid answers.

“Put my wife on the phone,” booms Ballsoff.

“Senor,” replies the servant, “I am sorry to tell you this, but your wife is in the bedroom, making love to the neighbor.”

“Now listen carefully,” snaps Ballsoff. “Go into my room, open the desk drawer and take out my loaded revolver. Then go and shoot them both!”

“But senor!” wails the housemaid, “I can’t do that.”

“You had better,” replies Ballsoff, “or I will come home, shoot them and you too!”

The housemaid puts down the phone and returns a few minutes later.

“Okay senor, I have done it,” she announces, “I killed them both and threw them in the pool.”

“Pool?” says Ballsoff, “what pool? Hello! Is this the Ballsoff house?”

Walter Wibbles, a skinny little man, is in the back of the church one day, praying to God.

“Please God,” he moans, “I can’t keep up the payments on my house; my wife wants a new dress, and my car is broken down. You have got to help me!”

Just then, the church door bursts open and a big black guy comes in, walks straight to the front of the church, looks up to heaven, and shouts,

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