Chapter 8: Life Is beyond Your Control
I felt really alive today.. I felt angry and happy, sad and crying.
When you really become alive, everything becomes alive: love, hate, anger, sadness - everything, because they are all your facets.
People have been trying to choose that only good things should be alive, and bad things - whatsoever they call bad - should be forced to die. In this absurd effort everything has died. People think that when all unhappiness, jealousy, possessiveness, has been dropped, you will be more happy, more loving - but just the reverse happens.
When all these things have been repressed, your love, your happiness, has also been repressed, because man is a totality, individual - that’s why we call him individual. You cannot divide him. If you try to kill one thing, the poison spreads all over. It is just as if you inject poison into my hand. It cannot remain in the hand because blood is circulating all over; within seconds the whole body will be poisoned. If you hurt my foot, it is not only that you hurt my foot, you hurt me.
We are undivided, and the whole absurd effort of the centuries has been this: to cut man to pieces - to welcome a few things and to condemn a few things, to call a few things sins and to call a few things virtues. Virtues have to be nourished, strengthened, and the sins have to be completely uprooted. In this effort, the whole of man has become dead.
So for the first time when you become alive again, everything will become alive. So don’t be afraid, because the fear will come soon. More anger will come, more hate will come, and you will wonder what is happening, because they are parts. The more intense your love, the more intense will become your hate. In fact you will become intense, that’s all, so whatsoever you do will be intense. If you hate somebody you will really hate; if you love you will really love.
Right now man lives in such a way that he is never intense. He loves only so-so, lukewarm; he hates so-so, lukewarm. There is not much difference between the enemy and the friend - both are lukewarm. When you really become alive, polarities exist with infinite tension in them - hate and love, and both alive. You feel torn apart. . . and that’s why man has become afraid.
So if you have touched that layer, don’t become afraid, allow it. This is the beginning, and in the beginning everything will explode, and everything will become alive. Go on living them unafraid. Live them, and if you live them really, by and by you will see a new change coming. Love and hate will become moods, and you will start feeling that you are far beyond both. And then the witnessing self arises.