Chapter 4: When Death Is Taboo, Fear Uncoils
It is always your own - only then can it work.
But then what am I getting from you?
You are getting your own force from me.
Yes, but I already have that!
But without me it will not be available to you..
Yes, it is your face it reflects, but without the mirror you will miss even your own face.
And have you started meditating? How are you feeling?
I became paranoid during the flashing light stage of the Gourishankar meditation last night. I stayed with it, stayed with the fear.
It can create fear.but allow it, and whatsoever happens remain with it. Don’t try to change it in any way. The moment you try to change anything you destroy it, and you destroy the beauty of it.
Fear has a beauty of its own, a delicacy and a sensitivity of its own. In fact it is a very subtle aliveness. The word is negative, but the feeling itself is very positive. Only alive processes can be afraid; a dead thing has no fear. Fear is part of being alive, part of being delicate, part of being fragile.
So allow the fear. Tremble with it, let it shake your foundations - and enjoy it as a deep experience of stirring. Don’t take any attitude about fear. In fact, don’t call it fear; the moment you have called it fear you have taken an attitude. You have already condemned it; you have already said that it is wrong, that it should not be there. You are already on guard, already escaping, running away. In a very subtle way you have broken yourself away from it. So don’t call it fear.
This is one of the most essential things - to stop calling things names. Just watch the feeling of it, the way it is. Allow it, and don’t give it a label - remain ignorant. Ignorance is a tremendously meditative state. Insist on being ignorant, and don’t allow the mind to manipulate. Don’t allow the mind to use language and words, labels and categories, because it has a whole process. One thing is associated with another, and it goes on and on and on.