Chapter 9: Your Suffering Makes You Special
You say, “pain, misery, suffering or anguish.” That shows you don’t understand. You can get rid of pain, misery, suffering, which are your own creations; you can withdraw. They cannot stand without your support, they need constant nourishment from you. They suck you, they are parasites - but you can throw them away.
Anguish you cannot get rid of.
So don’t say “suffering or anguish.”
Anguish is a totally different plane.
Anguish is something spiritual.
Anguish you are not to get rid of; anguish you have to become more acquainted with.
If you are standing with your back towards anguish, it appears like suffering.
If you turn your face towards anguish, it becomes blissfulness.
You are not to get rid of it. And it is nothing to do with you, so you cannot get rid of it. Even if you want to get rid of this blessing, then too it is not in your power. It is something intrinsic to your nature. If you are not facing yourself, you will feel anguish; if you turn towards yourself, the same anguish becomes the greatest blessing in the world.
So don’t say suffering or anguish. That shows your utter ignorance of your own inner world.
Suffering, misery, pain, are all outside.
Anguish is within.
Anguish you are born with.
Suffering, misery, pain, are your creations.
That is also one of the causes why you cannot get rid of them. You have created them, they are your children.
You just look at people when they are talking about their suffering; watch their faces, watch their eyes - and you will be surprised. Are they talking about their suffering or are they bragging about it? - because their face seems to be radiant when they talk about their suffering. And remember, you know! - because you are doing the same. You always exaggerate your pain, your suffering, your misery; you make it as big as possible. Why? If it is something to get rid of, why are you magnifying it? You are enjoying it.
One of my friends is a Catholic priest. I asked him once, “You hear people’s confessions. Have you ever wondered whether they may be exaggerating?”
He said, “What! Exaggerating? They are confessing their sins, why should they exaggerate?”
I said, “People exaggerate everything. If sinners are standing in a queue, you would like to stand first, you would like to be the greatest sinner. You would not like to be just third-class, standing at the end of the queue. And if somebody asks what kind of sin you committed - you have stolen a hen!