Chapter 33: Prayer: Your Psychological Armor
I said, “But everybody’s mother is going to die. Do you think it is because the gods are angry that mothers die and that only your mother is special? Everybody’s father is going to die, everybody is going to fall sick, everybody is going to have accidents!”
But he said, “I cannot think of anything.when I had gone for the walk she was perfectly okay and when I came back she was dead. The doctors say she had a heart attack, but I know that really I have killed her by not paying respects.”
I said, “If you had not paid respect, you should have died from a heart attack, not your mother. Can’t you see a simple thing - that your mother has nothing to do with it?”
But the psychological conditioning makes you almost blind. He said to me, “This is a warning to me, ‘Look, this time we are taking your mother, next time you are gone!’ They have given me an opportunity, a chance - a chance because I have always been respectful. They are being kind towards me, but now I am not going to listen to you.”
Your psychological armor cannot be taken away from you. You will fight for it. Only you can do something to drop it, and that is to look at each and every part of it. If it is based in fear, then drop it. If it is based in reason, in experience, in understanding, then it is not something to be dropped, but something to be made part of your being. But you will not find a single thing in your armor which is based on experience. It is all fear, from A to Z.
We go on living out of fear - that’s why we go on poisoning every other experience. We love somebody, but out of fear it spoils, it poisons. We seek truth, but if it is out of fear then we are not going to find it.
Whatever you do, remember one thing: Out of fear you are not going to grow. You will only shrink and die. Fear is in the service of death.
Mahavira is right: he makes fearlessness the fundamental of a religious person. And I can understand what he means by fearlessness. He means dropping all armor. A fearless person has everything that life wants to give to you as a gift. Now there is no barrier. You will be showered with gifts, and whatever you do you will have a strength, a power, a certainty, a tremendous feeling of authority.
A man living out of fear is always trembling inside. He is continuously on the point of going insane, because life is big, and if you are continuously in fear.and there is every kind of fear. You can make a big list, and you will be surprised how many fears are there - and still you are alive! There are infections all around, diseases, dangers, kidnapping, terrorists.and such a small life. And finally there is death, which you cannot avoid. Your whole life will become dark.
Drop the fear! The fear was taken up by you in your childhood unconsciously; now consciously drop it and be mature. And then life can be a light which goes on deepening as you go on growing.