Chapter 14: A Singular Mess
I am trying to help you to drop all kinds of desires - including the desire that you have to attain to truth, that you have to attain to nirvana; including the desire that you have to be desireless.
Why are you in such a hurry to do something? Why can’t you be, simply be? Being is sanity and salvation. The moment you start doing, you get confused, because whatsoever you do - and I am saying it unconditionally, whatsoever - it will create more ego in you. Doing creates the doer and ego is the whole problem. The ego has to be dropped and the ego always waits for the opportunity to do something.
When I am trying to explain to you what meditation is, I am doing one thing and you are preparing for something else. I am trying to talk to you; I am simply sharing my insight into meditation, my experience of meditation. I am trying to do just one thing: to make you alert about what this state of meditation is. While I am talking about the state, you are planning inside how to attain it, what to do about it. You exist in a totally different dimension.
I say meditation cannot be done - one can be in meditation but one cannot do it. It is just like love. You can be in love but what can you do about it? Either it is or it is not. Listening to me, you go on interpreting, reducing everything that I say into how to do it. I am saying to you that if you can simply listen to me, that will bring enlightenment. There is no need to do anything else. lust by hearing it, just by seeing what is transpiring here between me and you, just by being with me, you will become enlightened - not by doing anything.
But that you don’t like very much because that does not give you the ego. If enlightenment happens just by being with me, then who are you? Then what are you? Then what have you done? Then how can you brag about it? It will be a gift. You will have to be thankful for it, you will have to be grateful for it. You cannot go into the world saying that you have done it. How can you say, “I have done it?” It has nothing to do with your doing or you.
No, you are not much interested in that. You are interested in doing it, achieving it, attaining it, so that you can say that you have attained it. But how can you attain enlightenment? You are the barrier to it, the only barrier.
Enlightenment comes when you are not. It is available right now; it is all around. Enlightenment is the stuff that existence is made of. It is showering in the sun rays, it is singing in the birds, it is dancing in the trees. It is in me, it is in you. You just have to come to a point where you are not doing anything - and suddenly you see the fact of it, the radiant presence of it. But it happens only when you are not in a moment of doing. Doing, you become concerned; doing, you go outward. Non-doing, you are suddenly inside yourself. Doing is the way to go outside yourself; non-doing is the way to be where you should be, to be where you really are. Doing takes you into the future in time; non-doing allows you to relax into eternity.