Chapter 14: Without Women - No Buddhas
To be a father is even more difficult than to be a mother, because to be a mother is at least instinctive, biological. Father is a social invention, a social institution. A father has been created, he does not exist in nature; hence it is even more difficult to be an authentic father. But everybody wants to be a father - to prove his manhood, to prove that he loves his wife, to prove that he is reproductive, that he is really a man. But these are not things that have anything to do with love.
And then there is the need to dominate the children. He cannot dominate the wife - the wife dominates him. The wife allows him to show to the world that he is the master; she allows it because she is so self-confident about her mastery over him that she does not bother. At the outside he can play the game of being the husband. He knows, she knows, everybody else knows, who is the real master.
The father is hankering to be a master; he wants to dominate somebody. He cannot dominate the wife, he cannot dominate the boss in the office, he cannot dominate anybody. Children are needed; it is a desire to dominate. And then he starts asking the children, “Love me - I am your father. You have to love!” As if love can be managed. Everything goes false. By the time you are young your love is almost plastic, it has lost all spontaneity. It has become very cunning, very calculating.
Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school. Asked the first one, “Have you managed to live a well-planned life?”
“Oh yes!” said her friend. “First I married a millionaire, then an actor. My third marriage was to a preacher and now I am married to an undertaker.”
“What do all these marriages have to do with a well planned life?”
“One for the money, two for the show, three to make ready and four to go!”
This is a well-planned life! Remember this sutra: “One for the money, two for the show, three to make ready, and four to go!” This is how people are living!
You ask me: “I would like to fall in love.”
It is not a question of liking. One simply falls or one does not fall! You would like to fall in love - then it is not going to happen. Falls don’t happen through liking - you simply stumble and you fall! You are trying to manage a fall. You can manage, but it will not be a real fall - no fracture, nothing! You can put a Dunlop mattress and you fall on it, but you will simply look stupid and nothing else. A little bit embarrassed, that’s all.
You ask: “I would like to fall in love, but I am afraid of beautiful women.”