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Chapter 29: The Crescendo of the Insanity of Centuries

The only thing to remember about women is: A man who moralizes is really a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is invariably ugly.

Just avoid the moralizing women!

It is simply human to err - and that’s what you have done, fallen into a human error - but the law is: To err is human, but to make a real mess of things you need a computer.

One who dares to be a fool should remember that that is the first step in the direction of wisdom.

You have the intrinsic capacity to become wise, but only two-day-old, not very old.

If you have really become old, you will come to know sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.

Socialism is when the state owns everything; capitalism is when your wife does.

And this is a tremendously significant maxim to remember as far as old people are concerned: Whenever you feel the urge to exercise, just lie down and wait until it passes.

If you have really become old just have a look at your passport. If you actually look like your passport photo, you are not well enough to travel.

Devageet, you are perfectly young. Just to avoid women you are trying to play that you are old. That is not new. In my commune every sannyasin plays old. This is a very different world: outside men are chasing women; in my commune women chase men. Outside women have headaches; in the commune men have headaches. They look so much worried and afraid that some woman is going to get them - and most often the woman succeeds.

It is good that you understand that two days ago you became old. Remain old!

A big Yorkshire farmer found it necessary to go to London for several months and decided to leave one of his best workers in charge: “I want you to take care of things, Harry, as if I were here myself, understand?”

Harry nodded.

Four months later the boss farmer returned to find everything in shape. Harry, pointing things out said, “The chicks have been laying plenty of eggs, the wheat has grown double strong, the vegetables are better than they have ever been, and as for those monthly spells your daughter used to have, I have even got those stopped.”

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