Chapter 10: Sannyas: Dying to the Past
For example, your consciousness can continue to be violent, but you can be nonviolent in your behavior. You can be nonviolent in your behavior, but your consciousness continues to be the same as it was when your behavior was violent. Now you begin to suppress your consciousness. You have to suppress it because you have to pose a behavior that is not in the consciousness. The consciousness has to be suppressed, and when you suppress consciousness, you create the unconscious in yourself.
When you begin to behave in ways that your consciousness is not ready to behave in, then you are denying part of your consciousness, putting it off. This part becomes your unconscious, and it becomes more powerful than your consciousness because you have to continue denying your behavior. You become false; a false personality is created. This false personality exists only up to the point where the unconscious exists. So if you try to change your behavior directly, you will become less and less conscious and more and more unconscious.
A person who has become completely behavior oriented will just be automatic. Only the very small consciousness that is needed to work automatically will be there; otherwise, the whole mind will become unconscious. And this unconscious mind is the disease of your consciousness.
You can begin by changing your behavior as more or less “ethical” persons ordinarily do. The so-called religions begin with changing your behavior. But I do not begin with changing your behavior; I begin with changing your consciousness, because really, consciousness is the behavior. That is the behavior. This outward behavior is meaningless. So begin with changing your consciousness.
That is why my emphasis is on meditation and not on behavior. Meditation changes your consciousness. First, it destroys the barrier between your conscious and unconscious. You become more fluid, you begin to move in a less fixed way; you become one with your consciousness. So meditation first has to destroy the barrier inside; and the destruction of the barrier means the expansion of your consciousness.
You must become more conscious. So the first thing is to be more conscious in whatsoever you are doing. I am not interested in the content of your doing, but with the consciousness of your doing. Be more conscious in doing it.
For example, if you are violent, the so-called moralists and religious people will say, “Be nonviolent, cultivate nonviolence.” I will not say this. I will say: Be violent, but now be consciously violent. Do not change your behavior. Be conscious about your violence and you will find that you cannot be consciously violent, because the more you become conscious, the less is the possibility of being violent.
Violence has a built-in process; it can exist only when you are not aware. Your very awareness changes the whole thing: you cannot be violent if you are aware. Unawareness is a must for violence to exist, or for anger or for sex, or for anything that one wants to change in the behavior.