Chapter 9: I Laughed
The first question:
I am deeply convinced that our way is to drop the ego, to come back to our potential of sensuality and emotional sensitivity, and to increase in total awareness. I nevertheless have difficulty in comprehending that spiritual creativity should not be an original part of ourself. Against this I realize that the creative spirit is happening here and that new forms of life have been created in Pune. Can we consider thoughts, images and spiritual guests, foreign guests, coming to us without our mental activity - just awareness needed? I think this idea is really not easy to understand for the West. It seems the point to jump, but if I did not feel a strong faith in you and readiness for your message I would not be here. Please be patient.
I really will have to be patient! The first thing.
You say: “I am deeply convinced.”
Do you understand the reason why we go on asserting such statements as “I strongly believe,” “I am deeply convinced”? The truth is just the opposite - it is a cover-up. If you know, you know; there is no question of strong belief or deep conviction. Are you convinced that the sun rises in the east, deeply convinced? You simply know it, you don’t have to believe in it. Knowing needs no belief, and all believing is an effort to pretend knowledge which does not exist in the first place. Belief is pseudo knowledge.
And because deep down you feel that you don’t know, this not-knowing has to be repressed. By strong beliefs you repress this state of not-knowing. By deep convictions you force your natural state of not-knowing to the unconscious layers of your mind.
A man of knowledge has no beliefs at all. He does not believe even in God, he knows, and his knowing is enough. There is no need for it to be strong - against what? Why do you need a strong conviction? - because there is a strong doubt to repress. You are divided. Look into it! I am not talking about any theory, it is a simple fact. Look underneath your convictions and you will always find undercurrents of strong doubts.
That’s why believers can change their belief very easily, but they cannot allow the natural doubt to surface. The theist can become an atheist; when he was a theist he was strongly convinced of its truth, and when he becomes an atheist, he is strongly convinced again of the truth of atheism.
Kahlil Gibran has a beautiful story about it: