Chapter 11: Of the Friend
The same is true about faith. Why do you believe in Jesus? - can’t you believe in yourself? Why do you believe in Gautam Buddha? - can’t you believe in yourself? And have you ever thought about the implication? - if you cannot believe in yourself, how can you believe in your belief in Gautam Buddha? Fundamentally, it is your belief. Gautam Buddha has nothing to do with it.
If you cannot believe in yourself you cannot believe in anyone, you can only deceive. It is easier to deceive if you have somebody else as an object of faith, but it is your faith - the faith of a man who is hollow, the faith of a man who knows nothing about himself, the faith of a man who lives in utter darkness and unconsciousness, the faith of a faithless man. It is a worldwide disease, because everybody believes in somebody else. Even Jesus believes in God - he is also not bold enough to believe in himself.
You believe in Jesus, who cannot believe in himself; he believes in God. Of course we don’t know in whom God believes but he must believe in someone. It seems to be an infinite chain of unbelievers, of faithless people, hoping that perhaps the other may satisfy their emptiness. But nobody can satisfy your emptiness.
You have to encounter your emptiness.
You have to live it, you have to accept it.
And in your acceptance is hidden a great revolution, a great revelation.
The moment you accept your aloneness, your emptiness, its very quality changes. It becomes just its opposite - it becomes an abundance, a fulfillment, an overflowing of energy and joy. Out of this overflowing, if your trust arises it has meaning; if your friendliness arises it is significant; if your love arises it is not just a word, it is your very heart.
Zarathustra is right when he says:
Our faith in others betrays wherein we would dearly like to have faith in ourselves. Our longing for a friend is our betrayer.
The desire to have faith in someone betrays only one thing: you are too poor, too empty, too unconscious. And this is not the way to change your situation; this is simply the way to a false consolation.
You don’t need consolation; you need a revolution, you need a transformation of your being. You have to come to terms with yourself - that is the first step in having the right trust, the right friendship, the right love. Otherwise all your relationships - of love, of friendship, of faith - are nothing but betrayals. You are exposing yourself and declaring that you are empty, unworthy, undeserving.
If you cannot love yourself, who is going to love you?
If you cannot be a friend to yourself, who is going to be a friend to you?
If you cannot trust in yourself, who is going to trust you?
And often with our love we only want to leap over envy.