Chapter 16: Fear Is Always of the Unknown
So, help the person to understand why the fear is there. Make it clear that it is a phony phenomenon, imposed upon him: “There is no need to be worried. In this situation you can go crazy. Don’t be afraid. Enjoy. For the first time you have got a situation in which you can be crazy, and yet not condemned, but loved, respected.” And the group has to respect the person, love the person - he needs it - and he will cool down. And he will come out of the fear with a great freedom, with great stamina, strength, integrity.
The second fear is of sexual orgasm. That too is created by the religions. All religions exist because they have turned man against his own energies. Sex is man’s whole energy, his life energy, and religious prophets and messiahs, messengers of God are all doing the same work - in different words, different languages, but their work is the same: to make man an enemy of himself. And the basic strategy is that sex should be condemned. Because sex is the most powerful energy in you, guilt should be created. Then a problem arises for the individual; his nature is sensuous, sexual, and his mind is full of garbage against it. He is in a split. He can neither drop the mind - because dropping the mind means dropping the society, the religion, the prophet, Jesus Christ, and God, everything. He’s not able to do that unless he has become an individual, and is able to be alone without any fear.
So man is afraid of sex as far as his mind is concerned. But his biology has nothing to do with the mind. The biology has not received any information from the mind, there is no communication. The biology has its own way of functioning, so it will draw him toward sex and his mind will be standing there continuously condemning him. So he makes love, but in a hurry. That hurry has a very psychological reason; the hurry is because he is doing something wrong. He is doing something against God, against religion. He is feeling guilty and he cannot manage not to do it, so the only compromise is to do it, but be quick. That avoids the orgasm.
Now, there are implications upon implications. A man who has not known orgasm feels unfulfilled, frustrated, angry, because he has never been in a state which nature provides freely - where he could have relaxed totally and become one with the existence, at least for a few moments. Because of his hurry, he cannot manage the orgasm. Sex has become equivalent to ejaculation. That is not true as far as nature is concerned; ejaculation is only a part, which you can manage without orgasm. You can reproduce children, so biology is not worried about your orgasm. Your biology is satisfied if you reproduce children, and they can be reproduced just by ejaculation; there is no need for orgasm.
Orgasm is a tremendous gift of nature. Man is deprived, and because he is so quick in making love the woman is deprived. The woman needs time to warm up. Her whole body is erotic, and unless her whole body is throbbing with joy, she will not be able to experience orgasm. For that there is no time.