Chapter 28: Trust
So trust is not faith, not belief; then what is trust? These are the two things you will find in the dictionaries: they are all synonymous - trust, belief, faith. They are not. Trust is not something that you can do. Faith you can manage, it is only a cover-up. Belief you can manage. Just a little rationality. Trust is beyond your doing. It happens in a certain state of silence. Let me say, it is the fragrance of silence.
With the master, if the disciple feels a silence arising in him, the very presence of the master gives him a tranquillity. Then as a fragrance trust arises. You cannot do it, it is an happening. So you cannot undo it, either. It is not in your hands. It is something beyond you - still, within you. It is very close to qualities like love, respect. But I am saying something similar, not exactly the same.
The original meaning of the word respect is beautiful. It means looking back, re-spect, looking once more. It has nothing to do with honor. It has to do something so beautiful that you would like to look at least one time more. And it is non-ending. How many times you look at it, the desire, the longing, the thirst goes on growing rather than diminishing. You want to be more and more closer to the master, more and more filled by his presence, his light, his silence, his love.
So something in it is like re-spect. Something in it is like love. You cannot do anything about love. Suddenly it happens. You find one moment in love with someone for no apparent reason. You yourself feel a little embarrassed. You start looking inside you, what may have been the cause. But there is no cause. If somebody asks why you have fallen in love with a certain person, you don’t have any answer. And love comes, and spring comes with it, and suddenly all the flowers blossom, all the birds start singing. You are no more the same person. You cannot believe that this was going to happen to you. You had never dreamed about it. And one moment it is gone, the same way it had come - just like a breeze. It was so cool and so pleasant, but it comes from one side and moves from the other side. It cannot stay, otherwise it won’t be breeze, it will become stale.
We would like, so we rush to close the doors so the breeze does not go out. We call it marriage. And marriage is nothing but murder of love. The breeze is no more there. It was in the movement, in the change, the flow, in its coming and its going, in its freedom.
So something like love is there in trust. You cannot say why you trust a certain person, you simply feel. Every cell of your being says yes. There is no repression of any doubt, there is no question which you are repressing. It is not somebody else’s answer, it is something that has grown out of your own being and it is so fulfilling. But you cannot say what is the cause, why it has to happen only in this moment, why not before. So about happening it is just like love, but about the other part of love, that it comes and goes, it is different.