Chapter 48: The Potentiality of the Seed
But your personality, your expression of that ecstasy, is bound to be different. A Meera will dance; a Buddha can never dance. It is impossible to conceive of Buddha dancing, it looks absurd. But Meera sitting under a bodhi tree like a Buddha also looks absurd. She will lose everything, she will not be a Meera at all; she will be imitation. The real Meera can only be conceived of as dancing in ecstasy in her own love madness. That is her expression. The innermost core is the same. With Buddha sitting under the bodhi tree and Meera dancing in mad ecstasy, the innermost core is the same. In the dancing Meera and in the silently sitting Buddha who is just like a statue, the innermost core is the same but the periphery is different. The dancing and the silent sitting are just on the periphery. If you move within Meera, as you go deeper the dance will cease, the Meera will cease. If you go deep into Buddha, the sitting will cease, the Buddha will cease as an individual.
You can become a buddha, but you can never become a Gautam buddha: that is what is meant. Don’t make them your ideals; otherwise you will start imitating them. And what can you do if you imitate? You can force something from without, but that will be a fake phenomenon. You will become pseudo - just painted. You will look master-like - more than Buddha. You can look, but that will be just a look, an appearance; deep down you will remain the same - and this will create a duality, a conflict, an inner anguish, and you will be in suffering.
You can be in bliss only where you are authentically yourself. You can never feel any happiness when you are acting as someone else. So remember Tantra’s message: you are the ideal. You are not to imitate anyone; you are to discover yourself. Looking at a buddha, there is no need to imitate him. When you are looking at a buddha, the possibility hits deep in you that something of the beyond can happen. Buddha is just a symbol that something has happened to this man - and if it can happen to this man, it can happen to every man. Then the whole possibility of humanity is revealed.
In a Jesus, in a Meera, in Chaitanya, just a possibility is revealed, the future is revealed. You need not be whatsoever you are. Something more is possible. So Buddha is just a symbol of the future. Don’t imitate him; rather, let his life, his being, the phenomenon that is happening, become a new thirst in you, that is all. You must not be content with yourself as you are right now. Let Buddha become a discontent in you, a thirst to transcend, to go beyond, to move into the unknown. When you reach to the peak of your own being, you will know what happened to Buddha under the bodhi tree or what happened to Jesus on the cross or what happened to Meera when she was dancing in the streets. You will know, but your expression will be your own. You are not going to be a Meera or a Buddha or a Jesus. You are going to be yourself, and you have never been before. You are unique.
So nothing can be said; you are not predictable. No one can say what will happen, how you will manifest it. Whether you will sing, dance, paint or remain silent no one can say. And it is good that nothing can be said, nothing can be predicted. That is the beauty. If it is predictable that you will be like this or that, then you will become a mechanical thing.
Predictions are possible only about mechanical devices. Human consciousness is unpredictable; that is its freedom. So when Tantra says don’t follow ideals, it doesn’t mean to deny Buddha. No, it is not a denial. Really, it is how you can find your own buddhahood. Following another, you will miss it. Following your own path, you can gain it, you can achieve it.
Someone came to a Zen master, Bokuju. Bokuju’s master was very famous, well known, a very great man, so someone asked “Are you really following your master?”