Chapter 8: Be True to Love
Man has become confined to the family. Tantra is very much against family, and the insight is great. Tantra says it is because of family that love has been completely damaged, that the sweetness of life has completely been poisoned. People are clinging to each other, people are trying to possess each other, not to enjoy but to possess. Possession has become the enjoyment. There has happened a great shift: you are with a woman not to enjoy her - you are not enjoying her. You are with a man not to enjoy the man - you are not enjoying at all - but to possess. Politics has entered, ambition has entered, economics has entered.love is not there.
Love knows no possession. I am not saying you cannot live with a woman for long - you can live for lives together - but there will be no family. By “family” I mean the legal possession; by “family” I mean the demand. The husband can demand from the wife, he can say, “You are obliged to give me love!” Nobody is obliged to give anybody love. The husband can force the wife to love him. When you can force somebody to love, love disappears; then there is only pretension. Then the wife is fulfilling a duty, then the husband is fulfilling a duty. Duty is not love! Love is honey, duty is white sugar; you will suffer from diabetes sooner or later. It is poison, it is pure poison, white sugar. Yes, it tastes similar, a little bit like the honey, but it is not honey.
The family is very possessive. The family is against man, it is against society, it is against universal brotherhood. The boundary of the family is your imprisonment. You may not feel it, because you have become accustomed to it.
Crossing the boundary of a country, have you not felt humiliated? Then you know that the country was not your country, it was a great prison. Getting out and coming in you will know: at the checking post, at the airport, you will know while passing through the customs that you are a prisoner. Freedom was bogus, just holy cow dung. But living in a country, if you don’t cross the boundary you will never know about it; you will think you are free. You are not free! Yes, the rope is big - you can move around, but you are not free.
And so is the case with the family. If you start crossing the boundary, then you will know you are imprisoned. If you start loving the neighbor then your family will be against you. If you are happy with some other woman, your wife is your enemy. If you are dancing with some other man, your husband is mad at you. He would like to kill you, and just the other day he was saying, “I love you so much, I can die for you.”
Just cross the boundary, and you will know that you are a prisoner. Never cross the boundary and you can live in blissful ignorance that everything is okay.
It is attachment, it is possessiveness that has destroyed your capacity to go to many flowers, to taste all the flowers. Just think of a bee collecting honey from just one flower - that honey will not be very rich, the richness comes out of the variety. Your life is boring, it is not rich.
People come to me and they say, “I am bored! What should I do?” They are doing everything to get bored and they are thinking as if boredom is happening from somewhere else. Now, you are living with a woman you don’t love anymore, but your scriptures say once you have promised, you have to fulfill the promise: be a man who keeps a promise. Once you are committed, you have to fulfill the commitment. Now if you are bored, nothing is surprising: love has disappeared!