Chapter 30: Accept Life in Its Totality
Tantra says that it is not a question of achieving something; it is not a question of achieving brahmacharya. If you achieve brahmacharya - celibacy - against sex, your brahmacharya will remain basically sexual. Two extremes, howsoever opposite, are parts of one whole - two aspects of one thing. If you choose one, you have chosen the other also. The other will be hidden now, repressed. What does repression mean? Choosing one extreme against the other, which is a basic part of it.
You choose brahmacharya against sex, but what is brahmacharya? It is just the reversal of sex energy, You have chosen brahmacharya, but you have also chosen sex with it. Now brahmacharya will be on the surface, and deep down there will be sex. You will be disturbed because your choice will create the disturbance. You can choose only one pole, and the other pole follows automatically. And you are against the other pole, so now you will be disturbed.
Tantra says, do not choose: be choiceless. Once you understand this, the question will never arise of what is indulgence and what is repression. Then there is no repression and no indulgence. The question arises only because you are still choosing. There are people who come to me and they say, “We will accept life, but if we accept life when will brahmacharya happen?” They are ready to be in total acceptance, but the readiness is false, just superficial. Deep down they are still clinging to the extremes.
They want brahmacharya - celibacy. They have not achieved it by fighting with sex, so when they hear me they think, “As we have not been able to achieve it through fighting, now we should achieve it through acceptance.” But the achieving mind, the motivated mind, the greedy mind, is there - and the goal is there, the choice is there.
If you have something to achieve, you cannot accept the totality; the acceptance is not total. Then you are also trying acceptance as a technique to achieve something. Acceptance means: now you leave that achieving mind, that motivated mind that is always for something, hankering for something - you leave it! You allow life to flow freely, just as the wind is flowing through the trees. You allow life to be free, to move freely through you; you have no resistance. Wherever it leads, you are ready to move. You have no goal. If you have any goal then you will have to resist life, then you will have to fight it.
If a tree has some goal, some leaning, some idea, then it cannot allow the wind to move freely through it. If it wants to go south, then the wind which is forcing it north will be the enemy.
If you have some goal, you cannot accept life as a friend. Your goal creates the enmity. If you expect something out of life, you are forcing yourself on life, you are not allowing life to happen to you. Tantra says, things happen when you do not expect them, things happen when you do not force them, things happen when you are not hankering after them.