Chapter 2: Sowing Seed
But in the world of Zen there is no Allah, and as far as your inside is concerned, just take one step and you are the Allah. Nobody comes running. On the contrary, you come to a standstill. Just one step, inside - that Mohammedan saying is still about the outside God - you take one step and God will come running towards you. But that kind of God does not exist, so don’t unnecessarily waste your step! Save it, you will need it to go in. And the moment you go one step in, you are the Allah. In the world of Zen that kind of statement is not applicable at all.
Now the clouds have come, really with tremendous urgency! This year Pune is going to be flooded even without the Shankaracharya committing suicide. Just the laughter of ten thousand buddhas is enough to call all the clouds of the world. They don’t need any passport, any visa. They don’t have to pass any customs office. They are the free buddhas moving in the sky, and when they see ten thousand buddhas gathered, naturally they come running - particularly at the time when I am going to tell you the jokes.
Where is Sardar Gurudayal Singh? Just laugh loudly. This book is going to be dedicated to Sardar Gurudayal Singh, the only man in history who laughs before the joke is told. What a trust! You should learn trust from Sardar Gurudayal Singh.
Maggie MacTavish dies and leaves old Hamish a widower. It is such a relief for him that he rushes excitedly round to see Mr. Tomb, the undertaker.
“How much to bury my wife?” asks Hamish.
“Five hundred pounds,” replies Tomb, rubbing his hands together.
“Five hundred?” splutters Hamish, clutching his purse. “Can’t you do it for less?”
“Well,” replies Mr Tomb, “the cheapest I can manage is three hundred pounds.”
“My God!” wails Hamish, counting out his money, “I almost wish she was still alive!”
Magic Mushroom Melvin, the old hippie, is busy making lunch for his old buddy, Buffalo Grass.
“Wow, man!” says Melvin, stepping back from the sink and sitting down to smoke a few reefers. “That’s the wildest recipe I have ever tried.”
“Groovy, man!” says Buffalo Grass, in a cloud of smoke. “What is it?”
“It is salad, man!” says Melvin.
“Hey, cool, man - salad!” agrees Buffalo Grass. “How do you make it?”
“Well, it’s really easy, man!” says Melvin, “you cut up lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, and carrots; then you throw in some LSD, stand back, and watch the salad toss itself!”
Dilly and Dally are identical twin brothers, who live in a small town near the sea.
Dilly is married and Dally is single, but he keeps a small rowing boat.
One day Dilly’s wife dies, and a few days later, Dally’s rowing boat sinks.
Walking in the street a week later, Dally meets Mrs. Godball, the bishop’s wife. Mrs. Godball mistakes Dally, the boatman, for Dilly, who has just lost his wife.