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OSHO Online Library   »   The Books   »   This, This, A Thousand Times This: The Very Essence of Zen
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Chapter 14: Zen Is for Nobodies

Maneesha, that bamboo - and one other tree which was brought by sannyasins from Brazil - both were very proud people. They needed, they deserved, multiple fractures. Otherwise, there are hundreds of bamboos around you and they were as silent with you in the rains and the thundering clouds and the winds. Nothing has happened to them.

You should watch carefully. The bamboo who had multiple fractures and the tree from Brazil. It was a proud tree. But pride is not the name of the game we are playing here.

It is perfectly good; we will take care of the bamboo. And I hope he has learned why he has got multiple fractures. When the winds came and the clouds thundered and the rain was too much. If a bamboo does not move with the wind and the rain and dance, it is going to get fractures. That bamboo must have stood against the rains, against the winds; and whoever stands against nature will find himself totally broken, will find himself, sooner or later, in a hospital.

It is always the ego that gets fractured. Your being is untouchable. Nothing can harm your being, not even death.

Before we enter into our daily meditation, the bamboos are waiting for a few laughs. They may not understand the language but they can understand your laughter.

Moishe Finkelstein is dozing in his armchair in the Finkelstein Funeral Home one afternoon. The phone rings and Moishe picks up the clock and puts it to his ear.

“Hello,” says Moishe sleepily.

Then the phone rings again and Moishe puts down the clock and talks to the phone instead. It turns out that the Democratic Dodo Political Party has booked an entire hotel in town for their conference, and that in room 213, one of their delegates has died.

Moishe throws a coffin in the back of the hearse and drives downtown.

Half an hour later, Moishe calls the manager’s office to confirm that the job is done, and that the occupant of room 312 has been removed.

“You idiot!” shouts the manager, “I said room 213! Was the man in 312 dead also?”

“He said he wasn’t” replies Moishe calmly, “but you know what liars these politicians are.”

Rajiv Gandhi, the Indian prime minister, Francois Mitterand, the French president, and Ronald Reagan from America, are sitting alone together after a conference.

“I have a problem,” says Gandhi, “and I need your help. I have twenty personal bodyguards, and I know for certain that one of them is a Chinese spy. But which one?”

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