Chapter 4: Truth Is Not a Goal
An opportunity, a challenge is there: In that moment I was the challenge for him, life was coming through me in that moment. Sannyas is the challenge to surrender; sannyas is the challenge to explore something new, which you have not known before. The head never knows anything new, the head is always borrowed, the head knows only things from others. It is secondhand, it is never original; it can’t be original, it collects rubbish. But it feels secure, it feels logical.
The heart is illogical. You are afraid to go with the heart; you don’t know where you will land. The head moves on the superhighway, the heart will drag you into some labyrinth in the jungle of life - you will be alone there. The head always lives with the crowd; it is communist, it is fascist, it is Catholic, it is Protestant, it is Hindu, it is Mohammedan. The head is part of the crowd the heart makes you alone - you are neither a Christian nor a Hindu nor a Mohammedan. Suddenly you are alone; the whole crowd has disappeared. You start feeling afraid. Life comes only when you are alone, when you take hold of your life in your own hands, when you are no more part of an insane crowd, when you are no more part of this pathological world. But then you have to be alone, and in aloneness there is fear.
When a challenge like love or sannyas or samadhi or God provokes you, you feel as if death is coming close by. It is a sort of death: you will have to die to the past, to the old, only then can you be reborn to the new. Fear grips you, you say, “I will have to think.” That’s what that young man said: “I will have to think. I will have to wait.”
Thinking can never lead you into the new. Logic can never give you any new conclusions, it goes on repeating the same. Logic is a vicious circle, it moves in the same rut. Whatever conclusions come through logic were already in the premise, they are not new. Maybe now they are more articulate, that’s all, but they were given in the first premise.
Only love - and love means illogical, paradoxical - takes you to new conclusions because love knows how to take a leap. Logic is continuous with the past, it knows no leap. Love knows leaps, quantum leaps, it can jump from the old to the new, with no bridge in-between. Love can give you a discontinuity with the past, but then there is fear. And love is life - if you miss love you will miss life, and then there will be the fear that “I am missing.”
You are missing because you have not been able to allow your heart, you are continuously controlling through the head; the heady people always miss. Get deeper into your being, move towards the heart. The heart is not the ultimate; you have to move even deeper than the heart, and then you come to your navel - what the Japanese call hara. These are the three centers: hara - two inches below the navel, the heart, and the head. The head is the farthest boundary-line; when you are farthest from your being, you are in the head. When you are close to your being, you are in the heart. When you are at the very core of being, you are in the hara.