Chapter 4: “Chaotic” Meditation
You have to do two things: remain conscious of what you are doing, and then do not suppress anything. In our minds consciousness means suppression. That is the problem. The moment you become conscious of certain things in yourself, you start suppressing them. This is the discipline and this has to be learned: to be conscious and nonsuppressive; on the contrary, to be conscious and expressive.
You are feeling miserable: what will you do? Either you will try some escape so that you can forget, or you will try something which brings you out of your misery, or something which calms you down. Whatsoever you do will be a subtle repression, and the misery will be accumulated and it will remain in your system. The more it remains there, the more poisonous it becomes; the longer, the more poisonous. It is not only in your mind. It moves into your body, into your blood, into your bones, into your physiology. It creates many diseases.
At least fifty percent of diseases are mental and have their origin in the mind. And this statistic I am giving is a very conservative statistic - fifty percent. Those who work with mind and body, they know that ninety percent of diseases are mind-created. So the more you repress your energies, the more diseased you will become in mind and body - both. You have to go inside yourself with a deep transforming method.
My system of Dynamic Meditation starts with breathing, because breathing has deep roots in the being. You may not have observed that breathing is very special in many ways. Your body has two types of systems. One system is voluntary, another system is nonvoluntary. I can move my hand voluntarily, but I cannot influence my blood circulation. That is nonvoluntary. Your body is made of these two types of systems - the voluntary and the nonvoluntary. You can do something with it: you can take deep breaths; you can take slow breaths. You can change the rhythm; you can even stop breathing for a few minutes or a few seconds. But it is still in between. You cannot stop it forever. It is a link between the voluntary and nonvoluntary systems of your body.
If you can change your breathing, you can change many things with it. If you can observe your breathing minutely, you can detect in yourself many things. When you are angry you have a different rhythm of breathing; when you are in love, a totally different rhythm comes to you. When you are relaxed you breathe differently; when you are tense you breathe differently. You cannot breathe the way you do when you are relaxed and be angry at the same time. That is impossible.
When you are sexually aroused, your breathing changes. If you do not allow the breathing to change, your sexual arousal will drop automatically. That means that breathing is deeply related to your mental state. If you change your breathing, you can change the state of your mind. Or, if you change the state of your mind, breathing will change.