Chapter 5: A Journey between Two Infinities
The child is more like an animal than like a man. The child is the link between the man and the animal. The child passes through all the stages that man has passed through down the ages. The scientists say that during nine months in the mother’s womb the child passes through millions of years of evolution. He starts like a fish - as life started on the earth - and then by and by, he goes on growing. Within days he is passing through thousands, millions of years; in nine months he has passed through the whole of evolution. But even when the child is born, he is still not yet man - not at least, civilized - he is primitive, the cave-man.
The child lives in an inner chaos. He has no idea what he is going to do. He has no future, he carries no past; he lives utterly in the present. But because he lives utterly in the present and unconsciously, his life cannot have a discipline, an order. It is chaotic, it is anarchic. This is the first stage of man, the first stage of mind. And remember, that although sooner or later you lose it, it remains like a substratum in you. You can lose it totally only when meditation has gone deep, when meditation has transformed your being. Otherwise it remains there, and you can fall into it at any moment; in any stress, in any strain you can again become childish.
For example, your house is on fire, and you can start crying like a child. And you are not a man who cries ordinarily - nobody may have ever seen you crying. And your house is on fire and suddenly you forget that you are a grown-up man. You become like a small child, you start crying - tears come to your eyes - you are completely lost, helpless. What has happened? That pre-mind has reclaimed you. It was always there. You had grown a second layer upon it, on top of it, but it was there deep down. When the second layer cannot function. in a deep helplessness you fall to the first layer. This happens every day.
In anger you become more childish, in love also you become more childish. Listen to the dialogue of two lovers, and you will find it very childish. Remember your own memories when you first fell in love: how you behaved, what you said to your beloved or your lover, and you will find childishness. Or remember when somebody provokes you and you become angry - you start doing things which are very illogical, unintelligent. undisciplined, chaotic. You repent for them later on, because later on, when the second layer comes back, the second layer repents for the first layer. When the civilized mind comes back, takes hold again, it repents. It says “It was not good of me. It was not good to do.”
The first layer never completely goes unless you become a christ or a buddha. It remains there. Watch it.
The first layer is very chaotic. The second layer is collective. The second mind I call the “collective mind”. Now the group, the family, the society, the nation become more important than yourself. A child is very very self-oriented, he thinks only of himself. He does not care for anything else, he is utterly selfish. The second mind starts thinking of others, starts sacrificing its own interests, becomes more collective, becomes more part of society, a clan, a tribe - starts becoming civilized. Civilization means to become part of a society, to become part of many people: to become responsible, not to go on living a selfish existence. Civilization means sacrificing oneself for others.