Chapter 10: Put Yourself Aside
So start moving in sex, in love, in relationships. Move, and just see where the condemnation is. It is all foolishness; there is nothing wrong. And by and by, the more you see that there is nothing wrong, the old conditioning, the old habit will disappear. You will be freed. Just try. It is going to go.
But I’ve tried for so long.
Because you try wrongly. You are still clinging to the old concepts. Because of those concepts you go on saying no to me. You disagree because you have certain ideas.
I’m afraid that if I surrender to you, you will turn out to be just like the Jesus I knew.
You have to try. There is no other way. You have to try me. Move deeper into me. And disagreeing won’t help because that means you go on clinging to your old ideas.
See the point that your ideas have brought you here where you are - in a miserable state, in a conflict, a divided mind. Now you are clinging to these same ideas and then you disagree with me because of them. And you ask me how to go deeper! You go on clinging to the bank when you want to go deeper and further away, to the other shore. Just see the point.
If you want to be with me then you will have to surrender, and it is a risk. I may turn out wrong. No guarantee can be given - because who will give it? I will - and if I am wrong my guarantee is useless. I can give you a thousand and one guarantees; it will make no difference. You will have to try me. Give me a try.
I am still repeating a pattern that I adopted as a child. Whenever my parents scolded me or said anything about me that I could take as being negative, I would just shut off, run away and console myself, saying that I could do without people, I could manage alone. Now I find I react to my friends just the same way.
It is just an old habit that has become rigid. Try to do the opposite of it. Whenever you feel like closing - open yourself. If you want to go, don’t go; if you want not to talk, then talk. If you want to stop the argument, don’t stop but jump into it with as much vigor as possible.